J's Journal

Update 18/2 -- A Call For Change...

2011-02-18T02:29:00.000-08:00

Hello people,

I'm here to bring you what will probably be the last update on this blog. Yes, this blog will not be used anymore. But of course, it'll remain here, as an archive of my thoughts and work in the past. One day I'll look back at this blog and remember when I sat here and wrote this.

BUT that doesn't mean I'll stop blogging. Had you tricked in that first paragraph there didn't I? Anyway, I'll be shifting my blog to a new platform, mainly because I am more inclined towards quick and short blog posts right now rather than full-length essays. My commitments in school don't allow me the time for fully fledged blog posts, and I've also found the inspiration for long posts more and more difficult to find. I've realised that the things that really ARE interesting are sometimes the little thoughts and things than happen as you go about life. And as I go about life in school, tackling plenty of troubles and issues, I have plenty of thoughts, and that's why I'll post them on my new blog at jgxq.tumblr.com.

And they're just thoughts, but their meaning, their significance, is crucial and intriguing. So do stay tuned to my new blog for more updates!

Invisible Pressure

2011-02-01T05:34:00.000-08:00

I had another NPCC promotion test today. It was one of the toughest yet (perhaps it was the toughest), and also one of the most stressful. I've come to a point in my CCA and academics (and pretty much everything I do) that there are certain expectations of me that are seemingly nonexistent, but almost omnipresent.

A friend of mine wrote a blog post about himself feeling pressured to do well for this test. Another friend told me about the "burden of perfection" (as he put it) while we were waiting to be accessed today. Whenever we have achieved something in an area, we are always expected to either maintain our success or outperform ourself when the next opportunity arises. This invisible pressure can really hurt!

The effects of this self-induced stress can be a real pain, and it has really undesirable effects. We tend to act in an unusual manner to obtain these results, often trying too hard or forgetting that we should love what we do. I joined a special program in school this year to take humanities as pure subjects, and while the pressure is on me to do well in these subjects, I'm trying hard to remember the reason why I joined this program -- I love the humanities and I love what I do. While my CCA tends to give me rather unreasonable meeting dates and schedules, I have to remember that amidst my struggle, I love this CCA, and it is not just a redundant struggle.

Many a time, we forget how to love the things we do. In a text that my class had gone through today, the question of a living life was posed. How would one get fulfillment from his life? That is no easy feat, but if we can start from enjoying what we do, and not disregarding this enjoyment as some form of self-delusion, then maybe, we can truly remove the invisible pressure in our everyday lives, and start living to the fullest!

Update 15/1 - A J Barrage

2011-01-15T05:02:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world,

This update is just a showcase of a new J design based on one of my older Js whose design I never truly developed. I have made 5 variants of it, so if you happen to be reading this blog, do tell me which you like best! So here they are, enjoy!

The new design of my Minimalist J. The original design had blue, green and red sections.

An upgraded version. It's amazing what I can do with MS PPT isn't it?

I gave this variant a little slant and removed the reflections.

Added the reflections and made it slant more.

And the last variant I created is only slightly slanted, with reflections added.

So do tell me what you feel about these Js!

Enduring the First Week

2011-01-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

Getting used to a new environment is no easy feat. It becomes an even greater task when obstacles and disappointments come in your way of blending in with the new environment. The first week of school is as slack as it can get, but it was, nevertheless, a week of school.

I'm glad that my teachers have all been cheerful and pretty much welcoming (their personal introductions in class were much better than the welcome briefing into secondary three). But one big upset that really made me sulk this week was a change in my project group caused by an unforeseen restriction on the categories some of my members were allowed to participate in. This not only sent all the hard work my group had done planning for the project down the drain, but also removed the only thing that kept me and one of my best secondary school friends together (apart from bring in the same school). Sometimes I really wonder what the school is trying to do, but I've yet to truly pose my teachers a question, because I fear I'm thinking more with my heart than my brain.

Frustration and heartache can be really hard to ignore, as is the fact that I have to put these things down and start working again. Filling my head with somewhat positive thoughts was my main challenge this week. I sure hope everything will return to normal soon.

Welcoming the Work...

2011-01-10T00:38:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world! Here's a post specially for the first day of school. I know that my holiday post is still not up... My no number of apologies could hide the fact that I will not be able to write that really long post anytime soon. It will be up, but not yet. The challenge of posting pictures and remembering what happened will only be accomplish-able when I next get a break from school.

Today was the first day of school for me. And though there was nothing spectacular about the orientation and briefings apart from a huge, enormous and really challenging list of expectations laid out for us, I do recognise the effort made by seniors to help integrate new students into the learning environment.

I'm certain the days to come will be more challenging than anything I'd ever face before, but I guess I have to learn to take it easily and try having fun while carrying out these seemingly challenging tasks.

Although today ended with a shocking piece of news that has left me perplexed and annoyed, it was still a fine day overall -- nothing in comparison to what I am anticipating from this new program I've signed up for. I doubt I will have much time for this blog once school REALLY starts, but I'll update it as often as I can. Till then, see ya'!

Update 27/12 - Return of the Work

2010-12-27T02:39:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world.

This is just a short update from me for this blog.

If you have been wondering why there has yet to be a new post about my holiday, it's because my CCA and projects have started to steal my time again. While I am struggling to make a holiday out of whatever time I have left till school reopens, I will try to find time to post the third post about my holidays soon.

That third post will pretty much sum up the main things I did for the holiday, before the fourth post wraps up the last few things my family did to spend our free day in Capetown before returning to Singapore.

Here is the Christmas J I made for 2010 (a little late, but better late than never). And that's a belated Merry Christmas to everybody!

I'll be posting the holiday posts soon. Till then, do stay tuned to J's Journal for more posts!

Journey to Africa -- Day One to Three: The Table, The Island and the Garden

2010-12-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

Alright, here's the second post for my trip to Cape Town! I'll be explaining what I did for the first three days during my trip, so enjoy! (If you notice, there will be a coffee count at the end of each section which marks the end of each day of my holiday, and keeps record of the total number of coffees I've drunk.)

The first day began with a trip to wharf in Cape Town, where my family and I had some really good steak for lunch. Getting used to the time there was fairly simple, and we were quite hungry after an eleven-hour flight to Cape Town. Our exploration at the wharf continued at a shopping mall located within the wharf, where we bought some 'supplies' from a supermarket.

Of course, the while the wharf gave an awesome tourist-like feeling, it wasn't enough to keep us entertained. Our next stop was at a mountain named 'Lion's Head', followed by a place known as 'Signal Hill'. Both areas offered a spectacular view of the city. It was interesting to see how the mountains and the buildings merged together to form a nice picture. This was pretty much what my family and I did for this day, because we wanted a quick look, and then a good rest in preparation for the real adventure to begin on day two.

Capetown from high above.

Coffee count: 3

Day two of the trip was a spectacular one, where my family and I visited the great Table Mountain, from which we had an even greater view of the city than we had at the base of Lion's Head. But this day began with a visit to a place known as the Castle of Good Hope, which is apparently the oldest surviving colonial building in South Africa. My family stayed at the castle till 11am local time, where a small cannon was fired as part of a ceremony.

This tiny guy shot some bricks up pre-ee-ty badly.

We then proceeded on to Green Market Square, an area which is the equivalent of a flea market, and subsequently to an area near the city known as Bo-Kaap, which is a multicultural area for people to live. The interesting thing about Bo-Kaap was how brightly coloured the houses there were. However, due to warnings from a friend about the danger of that area, my dad decided to keep the tour within the car, and we took pictures as he drove about.

The final destination for that day would be Table Mountain, which my dad wanted us to see -- a lot. We took a look at it from a garden near the mountain, and then proceeded to a cable car station at the foot of the mountain.

Target aquired.

Transportation sighted.

My family and I took a large cable car up to the top of Table Mountain, where we viewed the city of Cape Town from more than a thousand meters in the air (while face turned numb from the cold). We saw some interesting animals living in the mountains, including a small squirrel-like animal called Dassie and a tiny lizard.

How the hell did he get up here?

That pretty much concluded the second day. We had our meals and returned to our hotel for a rest.

Coffee count: 6

Day three was not as exciting as the previous day, but it packed a punch nonetheless -- a punch of boredom, that is, when it came to a visit to Robben Island. The only saviour to this was the humorous tour guide who kept me somewhat awake. Robben Island used to be a prison and even took the role of a training area during World War Two. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned on this island years ago.

Apart from the history lesson, my family and I also got another look at Table Mountain.

From the boat to Robben Island.

The third day ended with a trip to a large garden in Cape Town, where we saw many people having picnics and relaxing. Though we were somewhat disappointed by the variety of flora there, it was still a good experience (perhaps we were expecting too much).

Coffee count: 7

And that marked the end of our first three days in South Africa. The next four days would be a true adventure, as my family and I travel across various small towns in Africa to see more attractions. Stay tuned for the next post coming up soon on J's Journal!

Journey to Africa -- An Overview

2010-12-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

It was an escape from the heat in Singapore, and yet not a plunge into the freezing cold winter of another country. My holiday to Cape Town, Africa, this year, was interesting in its own way. I spent slightly over a week in Africa, and my dad drove our 'tour group', consisting of my grandparents, my parents and me, across several cities in Africa.

One thing that surprised me in Africa was the friendly service from a majority of the people in Africa which was contrary to my initial perception of this country. The sights and scenes were amazing -- as they mostly are throughout the world. This trip was also a time for me to reunite with my favourite sugar-less and milk-less coffee, and I did so under the surprised stares from my family, waiters and stewardesses.

There were many choices of exotic food in Africa (though I chose to stop at leaves). While I did not explore much into this area, I chose to try my best and appreciate whatever scenery there was outside of virtual reality.

There is too much to continue elaborating on here, and I'll be drafting (and subsequently posting) three more posts elaborating on the three main parts of my trip. Till then, stay tuned to J's Journal for more!

Update 13/12 -- Back from Africa

2010-12-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world!

It's been a long and exciting ten days from me, but now I'm back to reality. I'll be posting four posts about my holiday (explaining it in detail) in a short while, so do stay tuned for more.

Till then, I'll be unpacking, clearing my room, and doing many more things that reality asks of me. Stay tuned to J's Journal for more -- coming up soon!

Did ya' miss me?

Reiterate -- The Importance of Humility

2010-11-26T06:00:00.000-08:00

The first thing he told me was that I came in the wrong attire. The second thing he told me was that my class was carried out too slackly and that I should have "some discipline" (as he put it). (In my defence: I was in my usual attire and the coach has never complained, and I show my discipline on the fencing piste.) He had come to the fencing classes on Saturdays (which I go to) for make-up classes before, and I go to his classes on Fridays occasionally when I need to have some make-up lessons of my own. He is skilled, but I cannot respect him due to the sole reason that he lacks humility.

When I saw how he reacted to a coach telling him that his handwork was incorrect, and when I heard what he told me at the start of the class, I was certain that he let his skills in fencing falsely elevate himself to a position superior to all others in any circumstance (except against the elite fencers, perhaps, in which case his skills will have their sorry behind trounced over and over again).

"Why are you holding your hand so high up?"

"What's wrong with that? It's fine for me."

He couldn't seem to understand that the coach was just teaching him the correct method to do something and he was rather recalcitrant during training. (Yes, a new word I've learnt while searching the dictionary for more words that start with 're'. Please correct me if my use of this word is incorrect -- or too exaggerated. Yes Derrick, I'm talking to you.) This is rather saddening. What's worse is that he likes to show off in front of people, flicking his weapon as if he were a 'pro', when in actual fact, his basics are flawed. Seeing him again today has made me think about the importance of humility again.

Sure, when you win, you feel great, but is it necessary to continually stress your victory to others? Sure, when you get complimented, you feel good about yourself, but is there a need to spread word of it to everyone you know?

Ip Man (or at least, the way he is portrayed in movies about him) has a great deal of humility. And I've come to realise that it is not only skill and power that will grant you respect from others. When you can realise that your skill is a gift that makes you unique, and that others might have their own talents as well, then you can stop inflating your ego and start gaining respect from those that you may lend a helping hand to.

A few little jokes now and then, teasing your friend about how much better you are than him is fine. (We all need that moment of glory.) But I think there are times when one should really understand how important being humble is, and show that quality in oneself when appropriate.

Update 16/11 - Breaking Boundaries

2010-11-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world,

Here's another update from me. This year has been such a challenging one, and also a year in which I broke many boundaries and did things I never thought I'd do. I've blogged quite a lot on my experiences this year. You can expect one or two more posts on my reflections for the year. There are just those last topics I need to cover to make my reflections whole.

Now on to "breaking boundaries". What will happen to this blog next year? As you may know, dear readers, this blog was started as part of my school work involving independent studies. I'm not sure if this blog will still be part of that next year, but I assure you that it will never disappear.

Next year will be a challenging year, and I will seek to break even more boundaries -- to get my perfect grade in academics, to learn new skills and perfect old ones in fencing, as well as to reach my desired rank in NPCC. The challenges are all laid out for me. I will keep this blog as updated as possible with my experiences. So stay tuned for more -- don't stop reading. There will definitely be more to come on J's Journal!

That wrap up this post. Stay tuned for the last parts of my reflections. Once those have been done, I won't be posting very often on this blog (planning for next year's projects and work shall truly begin), but I will still update it as often as I can. And now, here's a picture for you to laugh at:

Breaking the hamstring boundaries.

Alright, that's all for now. See you soon.

Remould -- My Methods

2010-11-14T05:59:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world. Here's my next post for my reflections. Yes, it's been a long time, and I made that important decision a while ago. Games got in the way. Nevertheless, here's the post I promised.

This entire year has been a challenge. How have I completed this challenge? Almost every day during school, in conversations with my classmates, I come across terms like 'mugger' that seem to stereotype people who are able to get good grades. People tend to associate good grades with continuous hard work and studying (perhaps even burning midnight oil). Is this really so?

I never liked to study. You may choose not to believe it, but it's true. My primary school years were a torture for my mother, who had to keep nagging at me to study. Without any persuasion, I would never touch school books. I felt it was a bore and a chore.

However, secondary school was a totally different thing. Expectations of my ability to be independent rose and are still rising, and I have to rely entirely on myself to study and achieve in school. While I have found a passion in studying for those subjects I like, I am still not as big a fan of this pursue of knowledge as some of my classmates (some of which will become schoolmates next year).

I've managed to get a decent grade this year, thanks to serious work throughout the year. Although I was still 0.17 of a grade away from perfection, I still did well, and I guess that if I perfected everything this year, there wouldn't be much to aim for next year. The funny thing was that I was still playing bits of my video games even a day before examinations. Now, was that the right thing to do? Or was it the cause of that 0.17 imperfection?

I have been used to having really short half-hour periods of studying, with equally long breaks. My short attention span does not allow for any ten hour straight studying. It would be weird if I did that. Is there a need for me to change this?

Everybody has his own way of succeeding. I've never been one to literally work my guts out. I'll just work as much as I can. A senior once told me that "an overstretched rubber band will snap". What's the point of studying every second of the day (or for some people -- pretending to study every second of the day) when it ends in one being unable to absorb anything? Of course, overdoing the 'relaxation' part of my method of studying could also result in dire consequences. It's all about striking a balance. Yes, that's something I've learnt this year.

If I had to make a change to my studying methods, perhaps an increased amount of time for studying would work. Slightly increased time could very well make up for the things I overlook when I revise for subjects I dread. I'm still in search of perfection, and I'll be sure to blog about it when I achieve my version of it.

Update 5/11 - Making Choices

2010-11-05T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world,

Here's a short update from me. If you're wondering why the reflections have stopped for now, that's because I'm currently trying to decide what courses to take in my school next year. Yes, all my brain cells have been channeled there and there aren't many (or any) left to blog until I've made my decision.

It's really weird -- making choices. 2 years ago I didn't perform as I had expected in an important exam, and as a result I couldn't make it to a school with my friends. 2 years later I've performed well (it may be 'awesome' to you, but for me, it's just 'well' -- if I do 'awesome' now how am I gonna improve in the future?) and I have a choice. The irony now is that my choice may very well be what separates my friends and me.

Yes, friendships can be maintained even outside of classes, but it's difficult. No matter what, I'll hope for the best, but in the event that what I feared since the start of this year truly happens, I'll do all I can to stay as close friends with those friends that I truly love (yes, it's platonic, as Mr Tan Hui Ming calls it).

Now, I've promised videos on Halo, but this will be a promise I might just have to break. Really sorry about it, but I realised my videos cannot be changed to a suitable format from the game server. For now, I'll try uploading some funny or nice screenshots to my blog, from my game play. So here's the first:

How do ye' do?

(If you're wondering how that happened: I was killed in a game in an epic confrontation between the shotgun and the energy sword and when the in-game me fell, he ended up in that position.) And that's all for this update. Do stay tuned for more on J's Journal -- more reflections coming up soon!

Reminisce -- About The Friendships

2010-10-28T23:32:00.000-07:00

One cannot understand the importance of friends just by listening about them. When you're in the embrace of your own friends, and when you see them working with you, then you can truly understand how important they are in your life. This year, however difficult it has been, was still a great time for me because of my friends. I have also had a deeper understanding of friendship, and how a true friend would be.

One sad thing about friendship is how difficult it is to maintain. After two years of separation from my old primary school friends, and the best friend I've made in primary school, it's really rather sad to realise that we are drifting further and further away from each other. The diamond wall that our schools, lives and commitments has built between us is so difficult to demolish that not many are even trying to break it anymore. Occasionally, the wall will disappear, and during this time, I'll try to catch up with my old friends as much as possible (such as right now).

However, from a more optimistic perspective, it's great to know that I've found at least a few really good and trustworthy friends in my school. I've put the past aside, tried not to feel sad about the friends I've lost due to streaming and such, and managed to get to know new people and learn how to trust them. A fight between a friend and me this year really opened my mind as to the importance of a friendship being a mutual effort between the parties involved. When we thought of that very apology at the exact same time, I was quite certain he'd be a true friend.

At this point, I'd like to tell some people in class that making an apology to a friend is not a question of your dignity or who's right or wrong. It's a matter of the willingness of both parties (or more) to preserve the friendship. (That's how I see it.) If your friend has been apologizing to you many times for the altercations you had, and something bad happened again (and you're not getting any more apologies from him), then maybe it's time you show him that you're as interested in being friends with him as he is with you. And if your reply is "I'm not interested. I don't need friends." then you're not quite somebody easy to get along with.

Yesterday, one friend asked me as we were making circuits around the school to pass time, "Don't you hate it when people ask you who your best friend is?" I said 'yes'. While you may have a friend you trust the most or like the most, I find it is difficult to truly pinpoint a best friend. Although I did previously in my "best friend" posts, I've realised that this thing about the best of friends is difficult to really discern. To begin with, what's the definition of a best friend? The one who had the most impact on you? The one who helped you the most? The one who cheered you up the most? Every friend is good at helping you in one way or the other -- they're all friends, love 'em all.

It's nearing the end of the year, and another round of streaming is about to commence, and once again, after two years of fostering great bonds, we are going to be separated from some of our best friends. While I am greatly depressed by this, I've also realised that the diamond wall of commitments and time that our society builds between us is never permanent. There are many ways to get around it. If friendship is a piece of glass, then the friends are people responsible for cleaning and polishing it. You need all the parties involved to work at their best effort to make this piece of glass truly shine. At the same time, if one party slacks, then one side of the glass will be dull and dirty. This piece of glass is really fragile too -- one has to be really careful with it lest it breaks.

It will take the combined effort of both my friend and me to preserve that friendship. It is in the embrace of my friends, and when I see them working with me, that I truly understand how important they are in my life. This year, has been really challenging, but it was still a great time for me because of my friends. My understanding of friendship has been greatly enhanced, and my appreciation of it -- increased.

Rethink -- My Academic Adventure

2010-10-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Studying has long been part and parcel of my life. I am always so busy (my parents say I'm like a working person) but I never forget to stop and appreciate what I learn rather than just looking at the grade on my report card. However, school has become so competitive that I rarely do keep to this rule -- to look at the process rather than the result. If the process is truly what matters, then why are we streamed to different classes at the end of the year based on our final results, and not our termly progress (well it's a thought, and although it could use more refining, it's a thought worth thinking about)?

This year has been a challenging year for me in my studies. I was stressing myself out beyond compare at the start of the year by placing emphasis on insanely good grades and exemptions from the examinations at the end of the year (a system in my school which awards students who perform well throughout the year by letting them skip the final exams). Ever since last year, I had my eye on the great fun and joy that I'd experience playing a game I liked that would, so coincidentally, be released about a month before my examinations. This made me set ridiculous standards for myself. The more I think about it, the more that I find 'unhealthy' as another suitable adjective for those standards.

Exactly how important are studies? Sure, all that stuff about one's future and the many job opportunities one may find with more talent and skills -- I've heard it. However, is the pressure and stress that we face while studying entirely necessary in this pursuit of success? I know that when I'm older and I have a job, perhaps I'll look back at this blog and laugh at my 'whining' -- but this is a thought I'm having now. All this pressure and stress gets me so worked up whenever I fail to comprehend something in school. I remember myself ripping up my math practice paper one day before my math exam (if my dad hadn't calmed me down I'd probably have failed that exam). At the end of everything, all I get in recognition of this is a report card and bragging rights (I don't use the rights unless it's completely necessary) -- now is this really that worth it?

Recently, a friend asked me a question regarding which program I would opt to go to for the coming year. This post is, in part, meant to answer that question. My school offers two main levels of education, one being IP and the other being one extra cut above. Within each level there are four areas in which a student can specialise in, namely the humanities, math and science, language elective and bi-cultural studies.

To be honest, I was really shocked when my friend asked me that question. All this while, I had never envisioned myself going to that program that was a cut above the rest. It seemed too menacing, too tough, and beyond me. However, my results this year should be able to bring me to that program. The question now would be: will I go for it? This friend of mine had always been quite worried about results and his studies. While I saw him working beyond hard (yes, even harder than me) and while I tried to help him, I never really thought he'd consider such a program, because he always seemed so panicky before, during and after a test. As a matter of fact, even the top notch people in my class claimed they didn't aim for that program. So, dear friend, when you came up to me that day with this question, telling me that you were actually gathering the courage and aiming for something so challenging, it really made me question my own decision.

What are the cons if I choose this super special extra ultra mega duper program? Well, more stress, that's for sure. The main difference in this program lies in the teaching format (adopting a mentor and student style rather than a student and form teacher approach), the dependence on a student's inner drive and a peculiar study about China, in mandarin, that seemed to scare a great deal of people because of the added difficulty. I have no problems with the teaching program, but I never really had the drive to learn much. I only have such a drive in the humanities subjects (for some unknown reason) while I always struggle with math and science. If that's the case, how can I go for this program which demands all-rounded excellence? Everybody has his flaws, and mine scares me.

Then again, what are the pros of such a program? Exposure. I'm pretty certain I'll be stretched beyond compare to think out of the box and tackle insanely challenging problems. And I don't want to shortchange myself my not going for something that I'm fully capable of succeeding in (such as a recent camp that I missed out on).

The least I'd be aiming for is the humanities special program in IP, which offers added value for my favourite subjects, but is not truly the full picture. I tend to wonder if going to this program instead of the other would be like eating a chocolate cake and forgetting to finish the berries on top. This is one of those decisions that really tire me. Every time I think about them, I wish this year would rewind and I could simply not have to make such a decision.

At the end of the day, the few questions I'd ask myself would be:

Am I interested in this program? Without interest, specializing in anything would be a bore. The glory and prestige that comes with the program I go for would be neutralized and overwhelmed by the torture I go through trying to pull through doing something I completely have no interest in. Committing myself to a special program based solely on results would also be incorrect -- no interest would mean no drive (in my opinion).

Am I cut out for this program? That would be an important requirement because without ability, there's no way I'll be able to squirm out of a demanding program alive.

Am I able to stand the pressure? What's the point of going for something to enhance my intelligence, hone my skills in life, but then in turn take away a few years of my life from me and give me grey hair?

Well, this is pretty much all I have to say for academics. Yes, this is an extremely long post. I have yet to decide, and anyway, I still have till around the second week of November to decide. That's not too long, but not too short either. Dear teacher, if you're reading this, do advice a rather confused me. For now, I'll try to put this though away and enjoy whatever time I have left with my first secondary school class for the next week, during our end of year activities. And my friend, I can't give you an answer yet, but here's what I think -- just like when I talked to you about some subjects: I can show you the thought process, but I can only tell you the answer when I receive the actual question.

Reflect -- An 'Over-brief'

2010-10-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world, this will be the very first of my reflections for this year. Yes, I have finally received my results, and survived a year of school once more to play to my heart's content during the holidays. Of course, I won't forget this blog.

There will be many things I'll talk about in depth in the blog posts that are coming up. But perhaps the first would be about growing. Yes, throughout this year, I have learnt many new things. The information gathered from classes will not just be information, though. They have become the tools that I use to make myself more intelligent, and more of a teenager than a kid. There are many skills I've learnt this year, ranging from my CCA to ways of thinking intelligently and pertinently and I wouldn't elaborate too much here.

Another part of my life would be academic results. Toiling and working hard for a year is not easy. Concentration itself is difficult to maintain in face of all those games and temptations. And it's kind of weird now to think that all that hard work materializes into a piece of paper I will receive in about a week in my report book. However, this learning journey has been much more, for it includes many other factors that I have yet to talk about.

Friendship is one of those aspects. My understanding of friendship has changed over the years, and this year, I've got a greater understanding of what a true friend is or would be. I've made a couple of good friends, made one great one, and I've learnt a lot about how important friends are -- as well as how fragile friendship is. Many a time, I had to gather the confidence, and put my 'face' away for the sake of my friendship, to apologise and make up for faults. The only sad thing about friendship this year is that I've been growing further and further away from my best friends from primary school. And on top of that, there is the menace of streaming that will come in due time.

Another aspect would be joy. Having fun while being in school is something that people may think impossible -- well, some people. You might have been wondering why I put an incorrect word in the title of this post. An overbrief was something a teacher said during a briefing. She probably couldn't make a choice of whether to give an overview or a briefing and decided to take the best of both worlds. Small things in school can make a boring lesson so much more interesting. The jokes shared and games played turn a boring school year into a much more exciting one.

Those are some aspects. I'll include as many as I can in the upcoming posts (they'll be one post for each little chronicle of my life) when I think of them. Do stay tuned, I will be posting them up slowly, but surely.

Update 20/10 -- Freedom at Last

2010-10-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world,

Here's a really glad update from me that: MY EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER!!!

YES THAT'S JUST GREAT!

Today was an interesting day of playing my favourite game, Halo, and videos will be uploaded in the next... week... or so... once my friend and I can fix them up.

Till then, see ya', oh and, reflections will be up starting next week.

The Final Push

2010-10-16T22:54:00.001-07:00

(Note: somehow, the font came back. Hoorah!)

Starting tomorrow, the final push of the EOYs will begin. Finally, after a year of studying, the greatest pressure in this year is about to end.

Three final papers -- the toughest for me. But I won't step down, no matter how much it feels like I should give up, I never will.

Time to put in all my effort and beat those papers, so that once they're over and done with, I can play to my heart's content.

To Battle!

2010-10-11T02:42:00.000-07:00

Exams are just a day away. Revising facts for the millionth time this year, I am getting ready for a great battle. Yes, and the conclusion of this battle will mark the end of a year of hard work and learning.

Soon, the work will end and the reflections and games will start flowing in. Do stay tuned to 's Journal for more. The next two weeks will be rather silent, but mark my words, after the 20th of October, more posts will start coming in!

To battle!

A Great Evil

2010-10-03T02:53:00.000-07:00

Another little note of things that have been going through my mind throughout this week. This thought just occurred to me:

The streaming systems in schools is really weird. Schools are really weird. The people who made these rules in schools are really weird.

You put a group of students together for a year or more (perhaps this is different in other schools) to go through thick and thin together. They grow closer to each other, and become friends. And finally, after a great two years together, I've made another good friend -- one that I hope will follow me till the end of secondary school.

But now you tell me about streaming. And I look at the possibility that my friends and I will be separated. Sure, make new friends, but hey, this is getting tiring. I'm tired of it. And I don't want to keep losing friends being separated by our classes, programs, and more.

You tell me that it takes two hands to clap, and both sides must work together to keep the friendship in tact even if we're not entirely together (in a class or group et cetera). Yet you give me so much work and so many tasks that there's absolutely no way we can find time to maintain this friendship. What crap is this that you're telling me, then?

Separated by air and space, after a year, my best friend tells me (and I can feel it too) that we're drifting further and further apart. I'm really sad now, he was my best friend in primary school, but if friendship was judged by how much we interact, then he no longer is a best friend. We're separated by school -- that was a torture bad enough to me two years ago, and now two years later, I'm might have to go through it again?

Perhaps I'm overreacting, perhaps I'm not. You think about it, and decide.

Update 29/9 - Examinations Drawing Closer...

2010-09-29T02:04:00.000-07:00

Hello people,

Not much to update right now, except that there might be several posts once in a while that show my thoughts and feelings as I go closer and closer towards my examinations. (Note: no idea what the heck is wrong with the font, no energy to find out now.) And for the first little story...

Today was one of the worst days I had in ages.

Memories past that are supposed to be faded.

They come back to haunt me and remind me of the pain.

And what are we? Forced to endure the pain of being examined -- having our intellectual capability accessed over and over again.

And I'm now fighting to make sure the pain doesn't return.

Why the hell can't I forget? Guilt that I hadn't worked hard enough previously.

But I've been given a great life in secondary school -- somewhat, now I must keep it.

And this fear... Signaled early in the morning: change your seats, index number order, table arrangement...

A bad mood throughout the day resulting in a worse temper than I normally have... And people don't know when not to poke...

Now in this frustrated state of mind -- tell you this: insult me when I'm fine and I'll return the favour. But when I'm incapable of differentiating innocent fun from true insults, tickle me -- and I might tear off your skin. Too irrational, too impulsive. I'm sorry.

Approximately three weeks to the end of the examinations. Alright, time to give it my all.

Update 16/9 - Short and Sharp

2010-09-16T00:25:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world,

This is just a short update to explain some things:

1. It's exam season now... -- I'll be absent from blogging till the end of my examinations, after which I will post those reflections of the year I was talking about, and my Halo: Reach short posts, if I have any.

2. Removing the Insect War saga that never really started -- I've found it quite redundant, and will not be writing any more posts like that. I'll place humor in my normal posts, if I can find any humor in what I'm posting.

And that's all. See you soon!

I'll be back!

Update 27/8 - Awesomeness to Come

2010-08-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world

Here's another short update from me. I haven't had much time till now and my creation of Js has almost completely stopped (apart from a most recent one). The truth is, these Js are becoming increasingly difficult to build as new and creative patterns are becoming more and more difficult to create due to the restrictions of the software I use (which is not meant for such designing at all) and the time limits I have to spend on personal stuff.

These are just some stuff that are about to come up on my blog:

1. Halo Reach Awesomeness -- As you guys might know, I'm a fan of the Halo games designed by Bungie and I've played all of them thus far. I'm not one of those insanely pro players but I can do pretty well in the game too. Their newest game is about to arrive, and when that happens, it'll be about two weeks of silence from me as I play the game to its limits. But when I'm done, you can look forward to some pictures or information that I can supply.

2. Looking Back -- A Year of Many Challenges... -- I enjoy making many posts which are linked together. One was my class accounts 2010 which is a section up in the labels section. When my end-of-year (EOY) examinations are over, I will be posting up a series of reflections related to my experience for this entire year.

That's about it for now. These posts will only be up at a much later date, and for now I'll just be writing when I do get some inspiration. You can refer to the notice board for any changes. Do follow and comment on my blog!

And At The End?

2010-08-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

Today was a rather bad day for most people -- the return of some of our scripts for which we fared badly. As the papers were returned, I saw my classmates walking, one by one... With their head down, and their usual life and energy completely vanished.

It's a really sad thing, that everybody in class is now so affected by results -- including me. I dare say that everyone, perhaps, has also been so greatly affected by grades, such that when you aren't given your marks, the world turns upside down. It's as though our souls -- students' souls -- are now made up of marks, and when one is not given these marks, his soul is taken away, his spirit destroyed, and all signs of life on his face simply...

Disappear.

Why have academic results taken such a great portion of our lives? Is there really anything to gain from studying, studying and studying again, for that one piece of laminated paper? I go through so much stress, even now, mourning poor results, hoping for good results in tests that have yet to come, worrying about results that might fall way below my expectations, preparing for upcoming tests, praying with all my might that the paper coming up on the next day won't be too difficult, and at the end? All this worry, stress, perhaps a few years off my life -- what in the world do they garner?

I'd like to point out a post of a friend in my class, which stated that we should do the things we like. Has society removed this opportunity from us? If I could fence every single day, hone my skills, and at the same time do parts of studying, but without the evil that is assessment, I'd say life would be great. The thing is, right now, every damn thing revolves around the red numbers that appear on a piece of paper that stares at me like a beast ready to pounce. I'd name the beast 'failure' if I had to.

At times I wonder, what would happen if I just drop everything and stop studying? What would happen if I stopped trying so damn bloody hard to get that math sum when I know there's a very high chance that in the test I might still not get it? What would happen if I don't do a thing, don't give a hoot, and during every test, I sit at my seat and stare into blank space, not writing a single word in my paper?

To see my classmates and myself looking so lifeless today after some test results came out was something so shocking to myself, that "Hey! My future is now equivalent to this red integer on my paper!" and that when that integer does not read as you would like it to, all is over.

Everyone, or at least those who did badly, had the eyes of dead fish. I was already so busy worrying for other tests that I had no reaction when I saw the crap that I got for all the revision that I did.

All this stress, all this torture -- SURE, it ends when the holidays come. However, I have this question for you: You work and toil for your grades, and at the end? Exactly what do you gain? Would there be a better way to live life?

My dad once told me that "assessment is a necessary evil that we must deal with". Yeah, it was a really deep thought that my dad gave me -- he rarely makes such statements with great meaning. Is it a necessary evil? Or is there any way to remove it without negatively affecting the one who is brave enough to remove it?

A Year of Trial - To Conclude...

2010-08-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Hello all, this shall be my second, and probably last, post regarding my project this year. After nearly a year of slogging our guts out for this project, and quarreling then resolving these quarrels, and with me pulling my hair out for those silly guys who are the people I call my group mates, what exactly do I gain from this?

Well first of all, if you ask me, I'd say it's the same ol' corny message: friendship. Better relations between my classmates and me are a definite gain, since I previously stated that my group members were as different as Yoda and Darth Vader. Frequent pranks at group members were definitely a fun part in this project, but of course, I had to differentiate between aloofness and joviality, which one guy pretty much couldn't see in our group -- considering that this gave me justification to constantly poke fun at him through my emails, I guess we have him to thank for entertainment.

And then we have, of course, our success in working together. But honestly, I don't place the end result, one pathetic piece of laminated paper and maybe (based on what I got last year) a plastic cup with a fancy red silk ribbon attached, anywhere near the importance of the bond between my group. Yeah, so you two idiots, your leader hasn't finally lost it, he's just very bugged when he hears you telling him the usual dip had severely condemned our project and that you were highly upset with it (even though he knows it's meant as a joke at times), and you seem to treat the plastic cup more importantly than our lovely group bonds.

Sometimes I feel that friendship is something we really must cherish. The end of the year is coming, and soon, we'll be split up to different classes. Why not cherish the time we still have left with each other rather than sulking over the faults of our project?

I have to admit that I have been quite distracted by our slight (yeah, slight) 'technical fault' in our Finals presentation, considering I shouted 'SATU!' in my CCA when given a command to number off in English and ended up getting told by my senior that my squad probably couldn't count past five in malay, but I still feel that overall, the time I spent with my group is what counts.

To quote a teacher, "it isn't easy finding a perfect group". Being able to work together (somewhat) is already a great thing. I guess it has gone pretty well this year -- soon we will embrace the holidays and try out some new games...

Update 8/8 - First in an Eon

2010-08-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world,

This is a short update before I stop blogging for tonight. These are the updates that have taken place in my blog within this week:

1. Adding of the New Insights segment for an overview of the most recent blog posts

2. Outstanding blog segment, for special blogs that I really enjoy reading

3. Other interesting links part for other blogs that I read when I have more free time

4. An update in the notice board

5. A new J insignia (which might be changed or edited again shortly)

And to end the update, this will be a new section I introduce in my blog : The Recommended Posts column. I will be adding this to my blog shortly. My favourite three posts (within two weeks of posting) will be placed there so that you know where my best pieces of writing are. Either that or they generated the most comments.

That's all for now. Stay tuned to my blog for more updates and insights!

The Security Guard

2010-08-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

There's this security guard in my condominium. He greets everybody with a very fierce looking face, yet in a cheerful way. He waves and smiles with all his might but... He still seems fierce to me. Every day I see him checking the cars parked in my condominium so carefully, writing notes, checking his papers, and sometimes taking photographs. At other times I see him tapping his little communication device on small sensors located throughout my estate. Over time, I've developed a great sense of respect for this friendly and fierce guard. Why? Because he seems to be the only one in the entire estate who knows what he is doing.

When you do something so well that people notice you for it, I'd say you're doing it well. Of course, the opposite applies. If you fence like a bloody monkey I'll stare at you in disgust first -- and then I'll trounce your sorry behind for wasting my time looking at you. However, if you fence with me awesomely, with the respect of a fencer, I'll return you that respect and admiration.

I don't know the name of this guard, and I don't think he knows mine, but I recognise his face, and he recognises the faces of pretty much everybody in the estate. While most security guards in my estate seem to move around aimlessly and do things for the sake of doing them, I see this guard treating his work very seriously. Whether or not he really is, I do not know, but I choose not to be so cynical now, because he really seems to be working hard. I remember I once told my mum that he should be promoted to a 'Fleet Admiral' of the Security Guards -- or something like that, and she laughed.

My point now in this extremely short post is that when you do something, please, for goodness sake make it sincere. Don't give me work that you're willing to discard anytime. Yeah, and that's what I force the people in my project group to do (or at least am trying to). When I push you and push you until you send me an email with the attachment, and your message telling me that I can -- hmm, vulgarity here -- off if I think your work is not good enough, I pretty much know you've spent some a decent amount of effort in it.

Studying? Or 'mugging'?

2010-08-06T23:47:00.000-07:00

Hmm... My blog has been filled with two highly negative posts lately. Just too many bad things have been going on. I seem to have recovered from my flu, but just a glance at what's up for next week sends shivers down my spine, as well as a good dose of fatigue to every part of me -- especially the brain.

Instead of another negative post, I decided to write about something I've always been curious about. Read the title. Yes, I'll be talking about a very common term used to accuse people who get high scores in examinations nowadays. 'Mugging'.

'Mugging', based on what I checked in the dictionary, is an act of attacking somebody and stealing his or her money. So pretty obviously, this term holds a very different meaning when used on studying.

I've been called a 'mugger', I've think I've called one person a 'mugger' before, yet I don't really have an accurate definition. Based on what I know, 'mugging' refers to continuous studying over a absurdly long period of time, obviously an act not human in nature -- and yet people do it, and claim that I do it.

What exactly is the point in 'mugging' then? I don't see it at all. Spending three to four hours in one solid round to revise everything that is coming up for the test tomorrow is something I've never done. In fact, to be honest, I've never liked studying. It was only when I entered secondary school that I realised assessment, which is an omnipresent evil, forces me to study. As such, I work with half-hour study periods everyday, with about twenty minute pauses and breaks between each period. The maximum I will study for every day is three hours, but NEVER three hours in a go.

Why is there a need to relate a good score with studying using superhuman methods? I really can't seem to see it. The only reasons why I would've called you one are: as form of rebuttal because you called me one (childish, I know, but natural reaction too), or because I simply couldn't believe your score in that test was achievable. However, I do not think that studying for long hours is of any good to the person at all.

You'll often see me saying "tata for now, going to study" on Facebook, and then a very short while later, I'm back saying that I've studied. Well, this method of short bursts of brain juice consumption seems to work for me. Have you tried it? You could. Who knows? 'Mugging' might just become a thing of the past.

Thick

2010-08-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Thick. That's just what you, recent enemy, are. Yeah, I'm posting this because I'm just really curious what your problem is. Acting friendly and talking once more means nothing near the fact that I've forgiven you for good.

Sometimes I wonder why the message that a person is bloody pissed cannot get through your thick skull. Maybe there's something clogging your brain, so you can't understand. Maybe you just need puberty's help to gain an ability to detect human emotion.

You think this is a joke.

You think IT'S ALL... A JOKE.

You think it's "ok, it's fine, I did it at home so it's not a school offence".

Well, I'm telling you as a friend you once had that it would be too late if you found out whether or not it was. Sure it's fine, sure you don't care. Neither will I when I lose my cool and decide to teach you a lesson.

And then I question myself: why had I not blasted the damn nuclear bomb to end the war for good? HAH! That'd be excellent wouldn't it? A dramatic end to a dramatic war. Yet I hesitated and in the end failed to pull the trigger. Perhaps I should blame myself as my feelings made me weak. Perhaps you should be thinking about how your actions are not a joke, but rather, a symphony of irritation to others. You think you're so smart? Please, I'm telling you now because I think you didn't mean it, that it'll be too late when you find out otherwise.

Because my patience has an expiration date, printed clearly in my eyes, behind the smile, beneath the facade, under the grin.

A Mini Cold War -- Post-Mortem Over a Day Away From School

2010-07-31T00:27:00.001-07:00

The pressure of school has been making me really stressed out over the past few weeks, and particularly, the past few days. Every single day its stress from tests, when that's dealt with after I've done some revision, there's the stress of my project, and once I've completed my project, there's the stress of my CCA... It never ends. Next week is a hell of a week, with three tests, and, according to my senior, two practise shooting exercises for my CCA. Absurd demands of a mere human.

To make matters worse I've recently involved myself in a cold war, a short one, a small one, lasting just three days. A day away from school was what I needed to think about it. It started so shockingly, that the other party involved had not the slightest idea why I started the war. And then a person tried helping, and ended up embroiled in my fists which were almost set lose. Sometimes you just don't realise a person is helping you because he cares for you, and you think he's trying to be a nuisance, well truth is he solved the cold war, that brave knight. But even with the cold war over there will forever be mistrust lingering.

To the additional party involved please, never do this again. The importance of you as a friend is important to me more than others, simply because I think I can somewhat work with you and two other important people. I don't want anything to affect us, and definitely not something like this.

To find out that, according to the other party, it was a misunderstanding, is something I still cannot accept. What I thought he said was such a strong force it hurt me for three days, a blow that no sword could deal to me in any situation. And to the other party, I hold this message:

Regardless of whether or not it was a misunderstanding, I cannot understand, why? Why did you have to do THAT BREACH OF PRIVACY THAT HAS ADDED FUEL TO THE FIRE AND IS NOW BEYOND SAVING? Whether or not it was meant to get attention, whether or not it was meant to be a prank, or perhaps your way of getting back at me, this is a scar you've carved on a rock called trust. It remains forever.

And now, what have I learnt from this?

Well, first being, not everybody can be trusted. This incident has thoroughly reinforced this fact in my mind, which is a lesson I've been taught over and over again. I'm not talking about the trust of a password, the trust of a set of keys -- I'm talking about the trust of friendship.

And secondly, I've realised how difficult it is to restrain your fists when they really just want to blast loose from my arm and nail the guy's face. I know how anger is, as I typed out in a very old post, a powerful force that is probably the strongest there is. Thankfully, I have walked out of this without somehow hammering somebody, or getting myself physically injured. Please let such a thing never happen again.

Why did this have to happen? I think continual attempts to break my threshold have finally succeeded. The cold war is over, dear friend. But whatever comes now, we shall wait and see. And as for the brave knight, thank you for your help, at least you stopped this from escalating into a World War III, but then again, please understand, some scars cannot be erased.

Now I'm sick, down with the flu. The pressure has finally taken its toll on me. And as I struggle to study for upcoming tests I must still recover. It's at times like this I just wish the holidays came faster.

To Hell and Back -- The Last Was Nothing

2010-07-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

To hell and back. Four simple words can so clearly describe what I did over the weekend. I remember using this exact same title last year describing my secondary one camp. This was different -- not only was it in Pulau Ubin, it was an NPCC camp known as the ATC (Adventure Training Camp).

The departure from school saw unwilling faces -- though some were excited -- in a large bus to Changi Jetty. As I sat in the seat in the bus, I wished that the trip never ended -- but it did. We were met with the smell of seawater, and the roar of an old boat engine. Onto to boat, and off to hel -- Pulau Ubin.

The activities of the camp had not even began, but we were already tired beyond compare. A half-hour hike from the jetty to our camp, Camp Resilience, marked the beginning of what we were to experience. Once we reached, we were greeted by swarms of mosquitoes, herds of mosquitoes, and then contingents of them. We sat in a sheltered area, feeding them, and awaited further orders.

I'll skip all the activities to the small, minute things that have etched themselves in my mind. The first out-of-the-ordinary thing that I did was to clean a drain. Yes, I cleaned a drain. My first true interaction with a human of the opposite gender was "It's okay, let Si Hao and me lift the drain cover, then use this tissue paper so we'll clean this up together." It was a truly appalling experience. Have any of you ever cleared instant noodles from a drain before? Well hey it's awesome, the feeling you get when you scoop out a strand of wet noodle, not knowing where the moisture came from and not wanting to, is so awesome that everyone should try it. By the third or fourth strand you'll become numb, and the disgust will just slowly become normal to you.

If I'm asked what's one thing this camp did for me, I'd say it helped me work on my fear of insects, particularly because I had been at war with them to prove it, and I have around 70 battle scars -- I hope they will go off soon -- to prove it (no exaggeration here, and sadly, I am probably one of the worst bitten guy in the whole unit). During the debrief session of the first night, I felt something unusual in my shirt. I flicked it, and realised it was long. Immediately, i assumed the worst -- and hell yes I was correct. The next few moments were demonstrations of absolute mind over mind (no typo), as I tried to prevent myself from screaming as I extricated the little insect from inside my shirt. I squeezed him tight from outside the shirt, and threw him out in one toss. How he got in is still a mystery to me.

Icebreakers also suck, in my view. But during this camp, I learnt how to seriously relax, and sometimes, make a joke with myself and laugh at it. How? Let's just say that I lost a game of Double Whacko, and the Banana Dance was the first thing I did to around fifteen people who were strangers to me.

Sleeping was probably the toughest part for me. The first night was the 'familiarization' night to me. Yes, we all got to know one another's intriguing sleeping methods. Not pretty. But sleeping has much more to elaborate on, we'll hear that in a short while.

The second day began with physical training -- the part I feared most in the camp. However, it was one of the simplest trainings I ever had. Another obstacle down, a hell lot more to go: three activities were in store for all cadets.

Number one (come on self, you can do this, just force it, you're not going to lose this fight): A hike through Pulau Ubin's jungles and trees. My group and I thread through Ubin, all the way to a special hut known in Ubin as the Bermuda Triangle (apparently because there is a triangular shaped pavement beside it). There, we did a cheer, and moved on.

Number two (one down, two to go, woo hoo! Oh crap, five more hours of this...): Low ropes challenge consisting of some really high ropes to walk on, a rock wall climb, and a maze. This was probably one of my favourite parts of the camp. No, it's not because I got to show off my sexy muscles during the rock wall climb, although I pretty much did. The climb was an experience I never tried for a long time (since a stupid 2 meter wall in primary school), the maze was the ultimate test of teamwork (we were sent into a room so dark you couldn't see anything, you'd then have to find your way out), and the low ropes elements, well, I simply slacked there.

Number three (YES, LAST ONE! Oh wait there's campfire tonight, and then we'll have to SLEEP... Argh!): Kayaking. I was looking foward to this, but I ended up completely, utterly, superbly, excellently and perhaps awesomely let down. What did we do? We rowed our kayaks for about five minutes, got forced by insane seniors to walk on the kayaks when rafting out, and then we went back to shore and used all our strength to bring the kayaks back to where they were taken from. How nice!

The campfire was interesting, considering the fire died twice, but was amazingly reignited. Performances from groups showed me that sometimes you just have to be able to laugh at yourself. Screwing up doesn't mean you have to be completely embarrassed -- my group and I took a bow for complete nonsense. The key quote from our performances was, "Hey, you, clean up the dog shit!"

And now we have the sleeping. We slept in self-pitched tents. There was so much space that we had to sleep shoulder to shoulder. I dreaded this part of the camp because each time you enter your tent, you'd be welcomed by the fresh and scented aroma of sweat, mud and mosquito repellent. Then, the smells would slowly but surely swim up your nose, half-choking you, and at that point a mosquito or two would buzz around your ear. To end it off, the air conditioner in the tent was working so well that our sweat could have made up a river.

The third day (today) was the best. Oh sorry -- dismissal was the best.

As we sat on the boat back to Singapore, I had some deep thinking. Whenever you finish a camp, there's this sense of achievement that 'Hey, I've achieved something!'. You can safely say that you have gone through a living hell, survived with the bare minimum in terms of cleanliness, food, and rest. You can safely say that you've gone through what you thought you never could.

Arms aching, back hurting, legs worn out, but your heart knows you've given it your all. I guess that's the beauty of camps that makes others say it's 'fun'. The friendship you have in camps is something you cannot comprehend unless you experience it yourself. And the memories you earn will last you a lifetime. If I consider things from this perspective, then no, it was not a living hell.

Would I go again?

Ah, interesting question. I'll tell you the answer when I have to.

A Year of Trial -- My Point Proven, Perhaps Wrong

2010-07-18T03:55:00.000-07:00

It's almost unbelievable how fast time flies. About a year ago, I sat in my room typing a post about my group for a major project competition of my school known as Projects Day. Besides severe criticism of my leader, there was also a 'commentary' on other people in my group. Thankfully I've somewhat reconciled with one, but the other is still a distant classmate now.

The main subject of my criticism was of course, the leader. Thus I decided to take on the challenge of being one this year, just to see exactly how difficult it is to be a leader, and even deeper -- a good one. I've arrived at the conclusion that being a leader is very easy -- you can take charge and not do anything, forcing your group to do everything while you sit and absorb. However, being a good leader is challenging -- constant contact between mentor and group, as well as managing the group and distributing work evenly and systematically, is something I still have trouble with, but hopefully, soon, I will grow better with it.

Firstly, allow me to quote a classmate who was writing about his everyday life. I have "a very enthusiastic project group". Wrong. The group isn't really enthusiastic, only the crazy leader is. But thankfully, the group was helpful, and I have no regrets trying out this project with a group of people who were, at the start, almost strangers to me (look guys you have to admit we didn't know each other very well at the start).

It was all a very formal thing at the start. The only reason why I'd see you and why you'd see me, is that we have some project work to do. Somehow that felt really odd. All this while when I did work with people, we were friends, but that warmness was lacking in my group. A teacher told me it's not easy getting a perfect group, and it's not easy to get perfect friends. I guess I can only adapt and make changes.

A good group, with no relation within its members unless the project was concerned -- it was rather depressing, it's a feeling you can't understand unless you were me, and you saw things from my point of view. Imagine if you were an Admiral of a fleet completely unmotivated, and you had to train them to go to war with an enemy ten times yours. What would you feel? In the end I consulted my closest friend on this matter -- I felt that he would be able to give me the best advice. And he told me something that really sent me into deep thought. "If they're not your friends then make them your friends." Make friends? Hmm...

Sometimes I feel that not just good results is what defines a good group. Through what I've learnt from my CCA about teamwork and friendship, as well as the bonds that people carry with each other when they overcome hardships together, I've learnt that a truly good group has not only achievements, but also close bonds with one another.

Well, that sums up a problem my group faced, but was it everything? No. Although my group hadn't been very enthusiastic, I am thankful that they listen, and try to help, without causing more problems. The fault lies, now, with me, for being unable to trust others, namely my project group, even when they are perfectly trustworthy -- I have made sure I be at every single meeting this project holds. How do I remove this fault? I'm not sure, but I'm working on it.

Secondly, regarding my ex group, well, I can only say that if that person was trying hard to be a good leader, then I have nothing to say against him -- it was my fault for an flawed judgement, biased and unsupported by evidence or personal experience. I've tried hard to be the best leader, but that's really difficult, and we're only secondary school students, I don't think we're capable of being great leaders yet (look, face it, you can be a member of the council but if your morals can be compared to compost then well, in my most certainly not humble opinion, you are not a leader). However, if this person was not trying to be a good leader, but rather a leech, then my stand remains. I guess I should bury the hatchet and forget about this altogether. I'll try.

In conclusion my project this year has given me many opportunities to reflect about myself. It's not over yet, but it will be soon. The pressure I go through as a leader is rewarded only when I see my group do well, and when my members are even a hair's breadth closer to each other than they were before. After the project? Well, when the time comes to relax, relax we will. November and December, I'm looking forward to your arrival.

Winning Graciously

2010-07-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder, why people must twist the words of others. I am but offering my opinion that your skill with the sword had shocked me and I was truly taken aback by how you avoided my blocking moves in the start of the match, and yet you tell me I am rubbing it in your face that I just won the match 15-6. I beat you in the examinations, sure, but hey, I like your answer to that question, IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?

It is truly difficult to win graciously. I've thought about it, how do you respond when you win something and yet not appear overly confident about it? Is there some way of doing it that is interpreted correctly in all cultures?

And when you lose, how do you show that 'hey, I'm alright, hope to see you again, I'll be back to challenge you next time'? If you look down, you appear to be sad, if you look up, you appear unsatisfied and unhappy with your loss.

Is there no gracious way to have competition nowadays?

Hmm, I know some people are waiting for my post on my project. It's coming soon, so stay tuned to my blog!

Self Examination

2010-07-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of a blog topic today. And I asked a friend standing beside me if he thought I should start my class accounts again. He said, "Why not slam yourself?" Then he flashed a cheeky smile and ran away.

Oh well, so here goes.

I've hated so many people in my life till now that I really wonder if there's anybody I like at all. And I hate these people for reasons I think are valid, then I ask myself the question: do others hate me for the same reasons?

Hate is a strong word, yeah, I know. That's why I use it. So that's my first flaw -- hating people. I seem to find faults in every small area in a person, rather bad for a teenager. I'm almost a perfectionist, and I expect everything done nicely and, well, perfectly. That's a big problem I'm still working on. If you're working closely with me for some reason and I keep asking you if I've made you fed-up over any incident, you know the reason why now.

Another thing would be my lack of trust for others. I already know I can trust these people, yet my overpowering sense of responsibility in projects or work that I do make me think that "I MUST BE THERE PERSONALLY" and I always end up not believing in what others can do. I sincerely hope that I could change this. Though I've been trying, I have had no results yet.

Hmm... Hating people, lacking of trust, what other problems could I have? Underconfidence is the word. In everything I do I've always been somewhat ensure of my own abilities. An example would be school work, especially in subjects I'm weak at. This under confidence creates a huge mental barrier which I'm trying hard to break. I've got through the steel wall, now time to penetrate the solid, diamond one. This under confidence sometimes makes me do a lot of additional work -- a refined answer which was originally ace work becomes a huge paragraph strewn with overly-elaborated points -- not very smart.

I guess everybody has their flaws. And soon, I'm going to finally talk about my project, something I cursed and swore about last year. What happened this year? Was all fine and well? Find out soon on my blog. For now, I'll just say that my judgement last year was, not backed up with enough elaboration, and the evidence I cited was too one-sided. Perhaps I have wronged a person, perhaps not. But I can say I am thankful to have chosen what I chose, and please, let it stay this way.

Bad Memories

2010-07-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when things don't go your way, and when things just seem hopeless, and you feel like giving up, many bad things flood your mind. Last week was a hectic week, with two class tests and the second presentation for my major project. To top it off, my CCA held a mock examination in preparation for my next promotion test coming next Friday. I've just returned from a fencing grading test and I'm proud to announce that I have risen by another rank, now Grade III, and hopefully, soon, will reach my target of Grade V.

But the purpose of this post is not about anything good. Like I said in the last paragraph, sometimes bad things fuel one another and give themselves life. I had a Mathematics test last week for which I was seriously struggling to comprehend. It seemed a futile struggle -- the confusing topic did not help my already weak foundations in Mathematics. I have yet to break this mental barrier with regards to three subjects I study: Mathematics, Science and Computer studies.

The Mathematics test wasn't too bad, but what was pressurising was the presentation day for my major project on the day right after the Mathematics test. It was really difficult to manage my time correctly. And being the group leader didn't help either.

One day before the Mathematics test I sat down in my room. I lay on my bed completely exhausted, my 'brain juice' completely consumed by the monster named Mathematics. At that point, my dad returned home with the same show of love he always gave me: something to munch on for tea break. He brought a chicken pie from Delifrance on that day, and as I ate it, I suddenly remembered my something horrible from my past in Primary One.

My daddy drove across my school, and I was in his car eating that very pastry. I believe it was my breakfast. As I heard the engine die down and the front door open, my heart sunk -- school again, I'll miss my daddy, I'll miss my mummy. I'll miss everything. And I walked quietly with my daddy, who was well aware of my feelings (though not completely), and with each step I took my heart begged for some immense storm that would shatter my school, blow it to smithereens and let me skip school for the rest of my life.

As to why that particular scene has painfully and cruelly carved itself into my mind after six years -- I haven't the slightest clue. Yet sometimes I'm left to wonder -- what made me continue going to school? Why didn't I just stop? Did I actually have a choice?

My Sword is Not Strong Enough...

2010-07-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

My sword is not strong enough

My sword is not strong enough,

I keep sharpening it but it still will not suffice,

I try to make it strong and tough,

But against the enemy of the Mind I've lost twice.

How long can I go on and fight?

A third battle, I cannot bear...

My sword is blunt every day and night,

From my combat with this enemy -- the MIND -- as if it were like a terrifying dare.

I've won before with the help of a friend,

And I thought this enemy was now part of the past.

But no this was not true, that horrible fiend,

Is back to torture me, and to grind my sword to dust.

My sword isn't good enough.

Against this fearsome enemy, it is nowhere near tough.

Effects of War Mindmap... And More!

2010-06-29T01:31:00.001-07:00

Here is the long-overdue (hey but wait, no deadline was given right? Unless I wasn't listening in class...) mindmap on the effects of war. I decided to keep it super simple, since, like a friend pointed out, mindmaps are supposed to be non-wordy...

Apart from that, I decided to share about a movie I watched about a month ago during a camp in NPCC. You might be wondering why and how I watched a movie during a camp, but no, I did not smuggle DVDs into the camp station and play them on a secret portable cinema. This camp I'm talking about was more of a fun bonding camp, which had one section called Movie Screening. I was deeply touched by the movie, which was The Pianist, which, upon some research I carried out last night, I found out was an adaptation of an autobiography also called The Pianist, which tells the story of a Polish Jewish pianist named Wladyslaw Szpilman, who survived an operation by Germany to exterminate Jews during WWII.

This war movie touched me because of the fact it is a true story, of a man who counted on the help of his friends, and other people, to survive a extermination operation by Germany to eliminate all Jews in a place known as Warsaw during WWII.

The movie gave me an insight to the cruelty demonstrated in war, and the mindless manslaughter brought about by warped objectives and reasons (probably results of a power-crazy government at the time when this happened). Throughout the movie, Jews were called out randomly from amidst the streets and murdered. Neither children nor the elderly were spared -- all died, and they probably knew it.

The main character, Szpilman, was separated from his family (who were presumably taken to be killed). From then, he lived in hiding and secrecy and finally survived till the point when his people came to reclaim their land. Three particular scenes remain etched in my mind.

The first is of a German soldier who stormed into the house of some Jews (Jews, if I'm not wrong, the story is not really easy to understand, and it was difficult to determine if they were Jews, Poles, or other people). The German officer commanded the family, having dinner, to stand up, and when an elderly man on a wheelchair could not and did not stand up, the officer pushed the man to his death off the veranda of the building they were in. That was a shocking example of what people could do in war. How could anybody make himself or herself push another helpless person off a building?

The second scene is of the main character Szpilman, long after he had been separated from his family. He had then been under protection from a friend. He was asked to sleep hidden behind a movable fireplace, in a pigeon-hole-like area only small enough for him to sit in. These are the horrible conditions that innocent victims of war are put through.

The third scene was of the main character again, Szpilman. By this time, he was already half-dead, but perhaps his will pushed him to live on till the war ended. His friends had all been caught for helping him, and food and water were nowhere to be found. He resorted to drinking from a bucket of what appeared to be vomit from a hospital to he had been seeking refuge in. Another sickening part of war -- that innocent people are left without food or water, and have to drink or eat anything they can find.

Near the end of the movie, Spzilman was eventually found by a German Captain named Wilm Hosenfeld. There are more details but I shan't elaborate too much, except that this Captain helped him, providing him with food and water and keeping him alive until the Germans were forced to retreat from the area.

The German soldier was eventually shown to be badly injured in a prisoner-of-war camp. He begged a friend of Szpilman's to look for Szpilman and save him, but by the time Szpilman had arrived, all signs of the camp had disappeared -- he was too late.

While this movie may be slightly boring to those of you who demand immense action, I felt that it was really a good movie, which showed me things I never knew, such as the cruelty humans showed towards their own kind in times of war. I would recommend you to watch this movie when you're free, though I'm not sure where you can get it. It's a pretty old film, shown in 2002, but for those of you who won't insensitively laugh at really unbelievable parts of the movie, I would suggest you watch it. Hope you'll like it like I did!

Choices...

2010-06-22T06:09:00.001-07:00

Recently, I've been faced with a difficult choice. Two things I love clash, and I have been forced to make a decision. Yes, forced -- I don't have a choice.

I love both my CCA and fencing. Sadly, they don't really seem to like each other. My fencing classes every Saturday morning have been either missed or rearranged due to NPCC activities. At one point I was beyond angry at my own CCA -- every damn day you take up time for something I've allocated three years and counting of my life to since I was primary five, and you expect me to accept it? Not an easy task at all, I'd say.

Right now, this problem is settled, with my CCA stopping its Saturday community involvement programs because of the overload of tests and stress coming in the next term, and my fencing classes resuming as they should. But what is to come for next year? What the hell am I going to do when I am forced to suspend something that has become a part of me for three (four, by then) years?

Sometimes it's just so difficult to make a choice. In this case I don't really have a choice whether or not I want fencing or my CCA, the latter, being a school course, takes precedence. The choice for me a couple of weeks ago when I was really fed-up and confused over this matter was whether I should stay in my CCA, or forgo everything I'd put in for one and a half years and go to another CCA that would give me back more of my life.

I didn't think I could give up all my effort, my mirror-like boots, my rank, or anything that I'd put EFFORT in at all. So neither could go. Not my CCA, not fencing.

In the end I figured I'd let myself rest from this stressful decision making. I'm already tasked with maintaining the progress and excellence of a project group, as well as upholding standards I've shown myself capable of in the previous school term regarding grades. I have no time to think about such matters. What would I do when the time comes and I have to REALLY make this decision? No, not cry to Old Reliable (for those of you who don't know, Old Reliable is my first sword, which, sadly, broke recently).

What'll I do? I'll see what I can do when the time comes.

Merchant of Venice Plot Mindmap

2010-06-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

This is my first assingment for the holidays. Before I post it up, here's a note that this post is the 100th post on my blog! Hooray! Let's celebrate. Now moving on to this ridiculous mindmap which took me a few hours to do...

I'll be honest that I don't really get the book yet. It was with the great help of guide books, the internet, and whatever skills I have as a student that I find this interpretation of the book. If you see any problems, please let me know and share with me what you could derive from the book.

My first look at the book made me draw a complete blank in my mind.

Update 20/6 - After a Long Break...

2010-06-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world,

It's been ages since I last posted something -- and I have many reasons for this, though most revolve around the fact I've been playing a great deal of games... Oops. But now school is approximately a week away, and I haven't much time left before I'm thrown back into the never-steady tides of school life. Time for a blog update.

First, allow me to offer my sincerest apologies for pretty much neglecting this blog. Now the time has come for me to revive it, somewhat. Two new posts will becoming up tomorrow, and they are my schoolwork which I have been struggling to do for ages, so stay tuned.

This holiday, I've been breaking my time limits on computer games and setting new records for the number of levels I can get past in a game within a single day. It's enjoyable at times -- I wake up, take my coffee, eat some peanut butter and bread, and move on to dominate the world (in virtual reality, of course) -- but also boring once I run out of things to do. Of course, nothing beats the ability to decide when you want to do things, what things you want to do, and how you want them done.

However, that hasn't been all. I've been trying super ultra mega hard to comprehend my next text for Literature -- Merchant of Venice. And I simply cannot understand what in the world the book is saying. I don't understand, fellow classmates, but if ye think ye can tell me what the heck this book is saying, then by all means, I'm welcoming ye to come explain to me what you understand. Apart from that, I've been sticking with the really non-wordy and easy to comprehend guide book (I am not being sarcastic. Yup, NO... sarcasm at all) to draw up the mind map which I will be posting up tomorrow. I also have a mind map on impacts of wars due, I believe, and thank goodness I did that History ACE project!

June has also been a time to do my project work. I am thankful that my group has been working well. No major problems have appeared, and I hope with all my might and love for my group that none ever will. One thing over the holidays which I've learnt is a flaw of my own -- not trusting anybody with anything. Time and time again my group has had to meet up and on the rare occasions that I could not make it I was never able to feel secure. I always felt I had to be there to see to things. I don't even know why, since my group consists of trustworthy people. Time to help myself get rid of this flaw.

I sat down to think and consulted a friend about some decision-making problems I had before. And with regards to what he said, I'll explain in a post soon to come up. Tomorrow is one of my last free days, and there are infinite possibilities as to what I can do. (At this point my dad came into my room. My door has been having this problem whereby it makes an enormous cracking sound when it's opened too forcefully. I got such a shock I almost threw my computer up with all my strength. Thank goodness I controlled myself in time.)

Now it's Sunday, and time's almost up for the June holidays. One more week is all we have left. And my school's not being kind to me in any way. Upon returning we're expecting to get attacked by a powerful mathematics test. Oh crap. Pressure to uphold standards kicks in.

One thing I fear about returning from a long break after doing well for a previous term is that I get overconfident and do badly for the next term. I'll need your help on this, dear classmates. If you ever see me act unusually overconfident, please point it out to me (no jokers, though). While I can confirm that the next term in school will be a bumpy ride with many obstacles, I can hope that I'll be able to overcome them and do well in whatever I do.

My post ends here, with more to come tomorrow. Now allow me to play around with the new template designer tool. My inspirations for Js has almost vanished. No new Js have come up for ages. But a good piece of art needs time to perfect right? Well then, let's wait!

T2W10 ELearning Task 2

2010-05-25T08:00:00.001-07:00

Here's the analysis of the poem for the second task of the Elearning work. And below this paragraph is the poem itself, which I forgot to include previously.

Rainbow Death

America did not foresee

Green, pink, purple and other colors death potpourri!

Expecting others to pay a high price.

Now thinking twice?

Toll on the innocent and unborn.

Omnipotent and disregarding who will mourn.

Reflective about all the illness, birth defects and prematurely dead.

All the deceit continues to spread.

Nefariously America led astray -

Generations untold WILL pay -

Execrable effects of agent orange spray!

By Hubert Wilson

I. Point of View

In my opinion, this poem is written from the perspective of a person who has witnessed the devastating effects of "agent orange spray" mentioned in the poem. In this poem, the poet is the speaker. I feel that in order to be able to write this poem, the poet must have had some experience of the effects of "agent orange spray". He is able to tell that "America did not foresee" what would happen after the release of these chemicals. This means that he was present before America did this, and also present to see this campaign's effects after it was carried out. He knows about the "Execrable effects" of America's campaign, suggesting that he might have had very close experience with it.

(To add on: I attempted researching on this poet, but there were few results, and many misleading ones. One source however, said that a man with the same name was a member of the American air force. If this source is correct, than the poet could have been a person in an aircraft witnessing the release of "agent orange", thus leading to this poem.)

II. Situation and setting

This poem is set after the use of "agent orange spray". It details what America "did not foresee" about the destructive and horrifying capability of this chemical which they released. It gives an insight on how people who go to war do not see exactly what they are doing and what destruction they are causing until the damage has been done. This poem highlights the case which involves future generations suffering, thus shedding light on another negative effect of war which stretches beyond those who see it or take part in it, to those "innocent and unborn" who suffer because of war.

III. Language/diction

The poem starts of with an oxymoron. It's title, "Rainbow Death", seems unusual. Rainbows are usually associated with good things and joy. They symbolize pathways between Earth and Heaven, goodness and rebirth, as well as prologues to disturbance. This title is probably talking about how war destroys everything that a rainbow symbolizes, because of a misconception of what war is for. People might think that war will lead to a rainbow of rebirth and glory, when in fact, this 'rainbow' will lead to death, torment, and suffering.

Another interesting word used is "potpourri", which can refer to an unusual mixture of things. The colors found in the same sentence, "Green, pink, purple", symbolize new life, innocence and pain respectively. Truly, this is an unusual combination of things. In this case, the poet could be trying to convey the message that America could not see that its campaign would destroy life and innocent people, bringing death to many different people.

The poet also states that the "deceit continues to spread". He highlights that in war, people are tricked and kept from the truth. In this case people would have been kept from the truth about what "agent orange spray" did to the people of Vietnam. The poet mentions that America " Nefariously led astray" the "Execrable effects of agent orange spray", thus blaming America for this horror. He uses the word 'nefariously' to describe America to be an evil and immoral country.

The poet also reminds America of what they have done and the consequences of their actions, telling them that "Generations untold WILL pay" for their mistakes. He points out strongly that many people will suffer from what America has done.

IV. Personal response

The poem makes me feel uncomfortable, and fills my mind with images of death. The poet starts by listing out all the effects of the mysterious "Rainbow Death", and explaining what "Rainbow Death" actually is. He adopts a very solemn tone in this poem, an strongly highlights how badly this mysterious "Rainbow Death" was. And finally, at the end of the poem, he reveals what his poem is targeted at -- "agent orange spray". He fills up the reader's mind with images of grief and demise and finally, explains what these images reflect. Thus the poet does not introduce "agent orange spray" at the start, letting the reader make his own ideas of this mysterious topic before reading the poet's view but instead gives the image of horror first, and then makes the reader relate it to "agent orange spray". In my opinion, this is a highly effective method of convincing a reader of the extent to which this extremely terrible article brought.

Of course, if a reader has prior knowledge of "agent orange spray", he/she would then be able to relate better to the poem, and his idea of "agent orange spray" would be sealed with this poem.

T2W10 ELearning Task 1

2010-05-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

This is my elearning assignment, task 1. I chose to do the poem with two stars. Perhaps if time permits and I haven't used up all my brain cells on this second poem, I might try the third ^^. (Update: I'll keep this mini-report as concise as possible, partly because being precise is good, and mostly because I do not dare to search any more on this topic because of what I might find.)

Based on my understanding of the poem, the conflict detailed in it lies mainly in the "Execrable effects of effects of agent orange spray". Based on my research, Agent Orange refers to a highly toxic and contaminated chemical used by the USA in a kind of warfare targeted at destroying the ecosystem of plants in an area. This happened during the Vietnam war and caused severe casualties to the people of Vietnam, including 400 000 deaths and disabilities as well as a fearsome 500 000 children born with defects.

(I can, based on what I saw, assure the reader that the effects of this operation was terrible, horrifying and really REALLY REALLY DISTURBING. Through my research I came upon a picture which could very well have kept me awake for a month if I were a couple of years younger -- I have a weakness against horror shows, and this operation's impacts are probably equivalent to or more than one.)

To give a brief explanation on what I think the different parts of the poem are referring to:

I. "Toll on the innocent and unborn" - Refers to the 500 000 children born with defects.

II. "deceit continues to spread", "Generations untold WILL pay" - Similar to the effects of the Atomic bomb on Nagasaki and Hiroshima (studied in History), the effects of such a chemical are bound to stay for long, if not forever.

III. "agent orange spray" - Seems to me as the focus of the poem, exclaimed at the end of the poem. Very obviously refers to the operation mentioned above.

This is what I have done for my research thus far, coming next will be the analysis of the poem using the template provided.

A Birthday

2010-05-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a post up in ages: too busy with computer games. Now that I do have the time, here's a short post. Sometimes I wonder what we celebrate birthdays for. And a friend recently asked me, "Why do we live? Why do we do anything when we lose it in the end?"

Well, I have my 14-year-old answer pretty much there. We live to do the best in what we do, and to have fun and seek excel no matter what we're doing, where we are, or who we're with. We live because of our loved ones, who are probably the only ones who know you from the day you were born. We also live because of friends, a crucial element in any person's life, which adds joy and fun to our lives.

And today, with all the birthday-wishes I've received, I've realised the importance of friends more than ever. To live a life with no friends would be as dull and boring as my early primary school life was. They give support and breath life into you when you're down.

As for family, they support you, with unparalleled care and warmth, as my parents have in many ways over my life. I recently had a quarrel with my dad -- I was perspiring insanely during dinner, and he'd asked me to clean the sweat off my forehead. But he has a rather fierce nature, and his words always come out blunt and harsh -- I cast a shocked and upset glance that he would be unhappy with me over this matter, and for that glance he felt I wasn't giving him the respect I should, by respecting what he tells me to do.

Of course, that was not my intention. But there was this question I asked him, "Why are you so worked up over just a bit of sweat on my head?" His answer was, "You mean you don't feel uncomfortable with that full head of sweat?"

I don't think that was the answer he intended, or perhaps my dad didn't know how to explain his emotions. Right now, I can tell, with any maturity I've gained over my last 14 years on Earth, that the reason why he was "so worked up over just a bit of sweat on my head" was that he loves me.

With this birthday, I can say for myself that I've grown. It's not because I can touch the switch to turn on my fan without even needing to fully lift my arm. It's not because I have a deeper voice. It's not these physical changes but rather the pshycological changes that make me think I've at least grown a bit, if not a lot. So to end this birthday off, here's my latest, newest J, created just around ten minutes ago, the Birthday J.

No doubt its plain, and no doubt there ain't no color. But it's the vibrant friendship that resides in this J that makes it the best J I've created since I started. Contains every single one of your B'day wishes, uncensored and with your names on 'em. Thanks once again to all those who have wished me a happy birthday.

Friendship makes one's life full. If all those wishes were gone, the J would just be a bare, black-and-white J, no different from any regular clip art. The meaning behind this J is for you guys to see and decipher, so, enjoy!

I'm afraid

2010-05-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hello people. I haven't blogged in a while, for many reasons. But I'll keep today's post simple. I'll type out a poem. Now I hate keeping to particular formatting so I'm just going to type this poem as I like it. This poem is about things going on in school. So my classmates will probably be the only ones who understand it. Here goes...

Fear

I'm afraid.
I'm very afraid.
I'm afraid of things to come.
I'm afraid of decisions I'll have to make.
I fear being split between two choices,
One familiar,
And the other more promising.
How should I choose?
I fear I choose wrongly.
This is a game of decisions
That I am so terribly bad at.
But I don't want to lose.
I really don't want to lose.
Should I stick with those whom I know?
Who I worked with before and
With whom tough work I went through?
Or should I go with new friends,
Who might be more able,
More skillful?
I've worked with them before,
But there is something lacking --
Spirit.
And I don't know,
If my judgement is wrong,
And if new found friends could show that spirit,
That those whom I know lack.
Then there's separation in a different aspect.
This time more severe
And with a fearsome permanence.
Having faced disaster here before,
I fear making the wrong choices.
I fear I choose inappropriately.
I fear doing things the wrong way.
If we live in fear then nothing can be accomplished.
But if we live in ignorance then,
We are just fooling ourselves.
I've faced failure before.
And I think I have a valid reason to be afraid.
Insecurity leads to fear.
Fear leads to confusion.
Confusion leads me to fear,
In a never-ending loop.
I'm scared.
I'm very scared.
I'm scared of things to come.
I'm scared of choices I'll have to make.
I'm scared of being split between two choices,
One familiar,
And the other more promising.
What should I do?

Class Accounts -- Part IV -- Propriety

2010-05-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

What I'll be talking in this second last part of the Class Accounts blog posts is a key factor in maintaining discipline, and being a good class -- knowing about propriety. It basically means knowing the correct moral actions and behaviours at the right time. Many a times, in class, we crack stupid jokes when our teacher is already unhappy with us, and we continue talking when a teacher is staring at us in hope that we'll shut up. These actions all prove that we know nuts about propriety.

My CCA has taught me a lot about this value. When I don my uniform, I can't just do anything I want, I have to control myself, not cross my leg, try (as hard as I possibly can) not to spout anything close to a vulgarity, not to stand on one leg, and more. Knowing when to do the right thing at the right time will serve to help our class be a better one. Most of the problems in our class are caused by a lack of discipline and knowing what to do at the right time.

Although I think that restraint and self control is needed to maintain good behaviour when the time calls for it, I don't think we need to hold back ALL jokes. Once in a while, in a boring lesson, when we're learning theories, doing sums, reading up on wars that happened in the past, analyzing a ridiculously complicated poem, or doing something that is just too boring, I feel that a joke or two will serve to light up the snoozing brains of the class again. Just a small laugh, not one that will last half and hour. I'm sure our teachers can understand that we need a break once in a while, and in fact they tend to crack some jokes once in a while (just that we might not understand them).

Recently in a math class, a classmate uttered an extremely unexpected sentence, "Hey, can you please get your ass off my hand." (Censored in case there are young readers out there, but for those of you who feel you can handle this minor use of a not-so-formal word, then highlight it to see what he said.) He said it with such clarity and firmness that I really couldn't hold back a chuckle. It's once in a while that jokes like this can wake up a class that's pretty much asleep. In my opinion, these are okay, and should be fine as long as they are not overdone.

Of course, there are times when such jokes should not be said. If a teacher is already not pleased with our rowdy or boisterous behaviour, such jokes will only serve to add fuel to the fire and ignite that glowing splint of anger that resides in the teacher's hard. If we can exercise self-discipline and do the right things at the appropriate times, then our class wouldn't have any problems. So how's this? We work together, and make our class better. Learn about doing the right thing when you should, and things will be fine.

Class Accounts -- Part III -- Positivity

2010-05-03T23:55:00.001-07:00

UPDATE FROM J: Ok, apparently there was a pretty severe misinterpretation of this blog post, as can be seen from the comment below. I've reconstructed the sentence in which the discrepancy lies and I hope this clears things up. Once more, let me stress, I'm not talking about my project for goodness sake, I've already said they're FINE. Thank you.

Note that this post refers to two different people. Yes, Derrick, I'm in a way criticising Mr. Vulgar, but the positive part comes with that dude I'm referring to. They're not one and the same.

Many have told me that my recent posts are highly negative. This new post will be a change. Yes, I'll be talking about something good. But before that, allow me to give a reason as to why my posts on my class have been highly gloomy and unexciting. The class has been shrouded with unhappy and pretty much undesirable events these few weeks. There hasn't been anything good I could dig up from the back of my mind till now, and that's why none of my posts have been about good things recently.

Moving on to what I talking about today. Well, the guy I'm talking about here already knows who he is, so enjoy. What I admire about him is his open-mindedness, and his positivity. What do I mean? Well I pretty much say the way he thinks is almost the opposite of me.

I take everything seriously -- perhaps too seriously -- and I hate several things: redundant conversations, *censored* who mess with my things without permission, and last but not least, morons.

There's a guy in my class who, in my opinion, has the most vulgar vocabulary I've ever come across. Let's call him Mr. Vulgar. (To clear any misconceptions up, he is NOT in Judo, he is NOT very tall, and he is NOT who you think he is unless he fulfils the criteria I'm about to say.) He's not somebody you guys would notice as one who is highly irritating, but he is to me.

Mr. Vulgar is a class representative, and even holds a position in the class committee, if I may point out. However, I see through every single one of his actions that he is an irresponsible person, easily distracted, and not focused on his job whenever he has one. He always speaks to you with vulgarities, his tone is always fierce and irritated (for whatever messed up reason I don't know), and he is one of those awesome representatives who collect worksheets and place them under the paperweight called air.

There is a guy who sits next to Mr. Vulgar. What shocks me is that this guy also does a project with him. Using Mr. Vulgar as an example, I can see this guy is patient. I mean, how the heck do you deal with his attitude problem dude? Is that even humanely possible? I've heard you two talk before, and if I were in your shoes, that guy would have lost two of his front teeth. I admire your patience and I look up to how you accept this person as he is. This is a value I have yet to learn.

Another thing that this dude does that I could do is to be positive about things and receptive to others. While I tend to pick my friends very carefully, and I am pretty much a pessimistic person, this dude is always cool about things. He often tells me to relax and calm down. I don't know how one can stay calm when your property in invaded by a *censored*but he can. He can nicely tell the person what he wants and then solve the matter without raising his voice. I can't really do that.

I think a person like him is someone that everybody should learn from, and seriously, I have to learn from this dude, before my temper becomes worse. If everybody in class was like this dude, then perhaps our class would be a better place. There would be less disputes, less negativity, and definitely more positive events.

Class Accounts -- Part II -- Leeches

2010-04-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Here's the second installation of my Class Accounts posts. I'll be talking about leeches. Okay, look, actually, I'm not going to. I hereby declare, as the mighty J, that I will hereby stop slamming seemingly anonymous people I know, and then give overly obvious clues as to who they are. Instead, I'll revert to boring and lame posts that do not arouse any feelings from readers whatsoever.

No.

I'm not going to do that. Of course not. Where would the fun be then in my posts right? Now let me once again clear things up regarding my previous posts. There are only a few people I'm referring to. None of them are those people I consider my friends. Okay guys? So if I'm very nice to you or I don't spite you each time I see you, then hey, no need to fear or wonder, I'm NOT talking about you.

Now, moving on to the main topic of leeches. Leeches stick on to humans and suck blood out of them. They don't in any way give in return to the human. When I refer to people as leeches (in this case classmates), I mean that they just stand around and listen in on every intelligent conversation there is around. They never offer their viewpoints except when they pretend to make it seem like their thinking and pop a redundant question that is the mother of all generalities.

Leeches cling on to humans. Well, these people cling on to our chairs in class. And they're difficult to get rid off unless you burn them away. So yes, you can't get your message that "hey, get out of here 'cos you're absorbing my knowledge" across through those people and their thick skulls. The only way to make them go is to 'burn' them off, 'cut' them off, or by whatever means necessary. For this, you need a sharp tongue.

So for those of you who keep telling me I'm talking about you, no, I'm not. It is often those who don't realise they're being criticised on this blog that are the ones I'm referring to. Yes. Big hint. I think, that being intelligent humans, we can draw a link between these kinds of people and the kind of people represented by Alpha Moron in my previous post. They often create trouble by planting the seeds of doubt into our minds, but they never help much. Some of them also sap information from others. 'Sapping' information, in my definition, does not mean asking for help for something -- that I can understand and I will assist where I can. 'Sapping', in my terms, means sitting yourself in the middle of a discussion and, as our teacher puts it "absorbing like a sponge".

Am I thinking too much into this? Am I lacking 'camaraderie' and being selfish by not letting others eat information and never give any in return? Or have I pointed out something that you guys never realised because this truth was obscured by the blindfolds of 'friendship'? Please give me your comments. I greatly appreciate every comment in the comment box, and if I don't reply in the comments section, you'll probably find something similar to a reply in my next post.

That's all for now, please check back soon for more updates and posts on J's Journal!

Class Accounts -- Part I -- Untruth

2010-04-30T05:08:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world, here's a new post on a topic I previously touched on, regarding the different kind of people in class. But before I continue writing, please let me clear up some issues with those who had read my previous blog post. Perhaps I gave misguiding clues this time instead of over-revealing ones. When I criticised the different kind of people in my class, it was not my project group that I was referring to. I stated at the end of the post that my project was fine, but there were some questions to me in school -- I hope this clears up your questions.

Now moving on to the main thing I want to talk about. As you might have noticed, this post is about my experience with things in class. This is the first part. The next part will be written shortly. I figured that if I typed both parts out I would be typing a blog post that would be far too long.

So what am I going to talk about here? Very simply, I want to talk about how damn easily rumours, or queries, in class (or should I say in a class of uncertain people) can spread, and something which never existed becomes our 'truth'. How does this happen? It all starts with a person -- I'll refer to him as Alpha Moron -- who has a question. Perhaps he wonders when the next class test for History will be. He then turns to the next party involved -- I'll call him Bravo Sucker -- and asks a question. Bravo Sucker will then move on to misinterpret Alpha Moron's question, and involve his friends, Charlie Cow and Dingo Dip, in this string of misunderstandings. I'll write up a commonly heard conversation to further explain.

"Hey Bravo, is there a test on History test on Friday?"

"History test? I don't know, Alpha, is there one?"

At this point, "is there" somehow becomes "there is", and the misunderstanding starts.

"There is a History test?" (At this point Alpha questions Bravo, but Bravo misunderstands it.)

"There is a History test?" (At this point, Bravo returns the question to Alpha.)

"So there is a History test." (Alpha misinterprets Bravo's returned question as an indication that there is a test, in other words he hears the question as a statement.)

Here, Bravo spreads word of the imaginary test to Charlie and Dingo. Charlie and Dingo then help pass on this stupid rumour to every living soul in their class. Yes, it happens, I've heard it, I'd fallen for it before, and thank goodness I don't (or at least have not for the past one month) fall(en) for it anymore.

Just think about it, who are those who are unsure and wavering? The people who don't listen in class. Why let these people corrupt us, those who DO listen, and give us a hell load of confusion on a matter than didn't even exist? Of all the times I have had people calling me asking about whether or not there will be a mysterious 'something' in a distant time ahead, these 'something's were mostly fake, and products of stupid conversations like the above.

To all those who like to do this (referring to Alpha and Bravo, not Charlie and Dingo and anyone else below that)-- I know who you are -- please stop it. To the rest of us victims of these stupid misunderstandings, let us stand strong against confusion. If we have listened -- not heard -- and gained knowledge about something, then we will not accept influences from people who have only thought they heard about something else. Consulting other who have listened might be a good idea, but any relation to those who haven't, is shooting oneself in the foot.

As of now, while I attempt to construct my next blog post, I've become engrossed in consuming a bunch of simply delicious grapes. It'll be a while before I'm done with them. Till then, stay tuned to J's Journal for the next part of Class Accounts. I'll be talking about a new group of people in class next, the kind I detest the most. They cling on to you, the suck the living knowledge out of you, but they give nothing in return. They are -- the leeches.

Update 28/4 - "Group"? My Foot.

2010-04-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world.

This will be another update post, it's been awhile since I had one. For this post, I'll be doing an add-on to my previous post. It has the same title structure but touches on a slightly different topic.

Many a times in school nowadays we are made to do projects or group work. There are three kinds of people you can find when doing group, and I've done work with all kinds of them:

I. Leeches -- suck the blood out of you. They don't do a thing and claim all the credit for doing nothing in the end.

II. I'll do what I have -- and nothing else. Self explanatory.

III. I'll do everything -- and then make HELL SURE I'M CREDITED FOR IT. There ain't no way MY work in this "group" project is going to waste, because its MY work and I must engrave MY name on it.

I hate the first kind the most. And I know I'm not one of them. There are several people like that in my class. I've worked with some. What I can't believe is that some people continue to work with these leeches despite knowing their nature! Is this done out of some unbreakable bond between you and him? Or are you so blinded by the term "group" that you don't realize that member is making use of you?

This is one thing I was forced to consider. I'm glad to have found some friends and people who are reliable and would do their part to help out. I'm also glad that my main project this year turned out pretty much fine, apart from a usual troubling guy. Much better than last year, at least. Have you guys worked with such people? Perhaps you could share your experiences with me and I can avoid them in the future (yes, some of you already told me in school).

I made a point to try doing projects with different people who appear to not be in the above three categories, but time is not infinite as of now, and I might not have the chance. Please give me your awesome comments. The more we know about these people, the better we can fend against them. Of course, don't mention names, give hints et cetera. I never mentioned names in my posts, just hints. Of course, I realized some were too big and thus this year I cut down on them.

Thanks for all your comments, please continue giving your comments and following my blog. Here's a new J (that I've been using in other social networking sites for ages). The Reversi J, inspired by my games of Reversi over MSN with some friends.

Prefect? My Foot.

2010-04-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world. It's been a long time since I got the opportunity to post something. I've been keeping this idea of a post for a long time now and decided that I would type it today.

In primary schools, we have prefects, and in secondary schools, we have a student council, or perhaps more prefects. Before I continue, let me state something. As my title suggests, I do not have the slightest belief in the ability of students being able to lead other students, regardless of age. Nope. Not possible.

In my primary school, there were prefects, prefect leaders and head prefects. I used to call them 'corrupted', but now I think I'll just call them 'flawed humans'. We are all flawed humans. But my question in this post is: How can schools trust students with the power to lead and command other students? How can schools trust people of the same integrity, perhaps same determination to enforce order, and most importantly, almost similar maturity to take control over other students?

What prefects and student leaders show on face value is one thing. What they truly do behind the teachers' backs is something else. I was a monitor before and I must say I never chose to be one. It was pretty much forced on me. We are children. How can schools trust us not to be biased towards close friends and not take down their names? There is no such thing as a model student. Every person has his or her flaws.

People tell me that student leaders are supposed to be matured, have EQ, MQ and whatever Q there is out there. How is this so? How, is this so? How, is this, so?

Around a month ago, I had my project competition. We did decently. Normally, people wish themselves luck in their projects. There was this one person, however, that I knew and know. I admit he is very positive and has lots of confidence in himself. He often proclaims his superiority in many areas before he even tries them out. Similarly, for this project competition, he told me that his presentation will "own" (in the teenage lingo) mine. I just bear with such people, I won't kick his behind or punch his face because there's no point in doing so. What urked me was something he said to me after the project competition.

"Hey, do you plan to go into the Grand Finals?"

What a stupid question. Who can predict how well his project will do? Who can assume? Only MORONS who think too highly of themselves will tell me "I'M GOING TO THE GRAND FINALS BEFORE I EVEN PASS MY PRELIMINARY ROUNDS SO EAT MY DUST". But I just gave him a simple answer.

"I don't know. Of course I want to. I'll do my work and see what happens."

And what did he say next?

"HAH! Can't wait to see you fail."

This guy was a student leader, a member of the student council of my school, in fact. Note that he didn't just praise himself. He did something worse. He put me down for no apparent reason. I had not said anything spiteful to incur such a comment. I did not react. In fact, I was too stunned by his disgusting statement that I did not know how to react -- with my fist or by walking away from a conversation bound to land that guy in the ICU.

So I'll end this post with some questions. What student leaders are we talking about here in school? What kind of student leader talks like that? How can a school have student leaders if it has such a person holding a leadership position? Please give me your comments, I'm sorely lacking them. And stay tuned for more (hopefully less solemn) posts next time on J's Journal!

Beyond Nuclear

2010-04-14T04:16:00.000-07:00

There's been so much talk about alternative energy in class these few days. Today, I learnt something about energy. And this thing I've learnt serves to backup what I've thought and known off for the past few years of my life. This is mostly going to be a reflective post. Please comment and give your opinions!

There is no greater energy than one's emotions. In my opinion, anger is the greatest power, and it is also the most destructive. It destroys one's rationality, it destroys ones common sense, and it destroys ones morals. In my opinion, the strength of anger is beyond the term 'nuclear'.

When I cursed and swore at someone today, using every tool I had to indicate pure anger towards that person, I felt as if the energy that mounted up in me could very well cast up a nuclear bomb on that person. It was as if my fist was about to fly from my arms and deliver a skull-crushing blow to that person. This is the power of anger. I saw mine at around 50% strength today.

Anger destroys one's ability to be rationale and sort things out calmly. Many a times, when one is angry, he forgets what he is doing. In heated quarrels in project groups, one often loses the ability to think correctly and clearly. So powerful is anger that it can completely blind a person from reason and self control. I am certain, that if some one, somehow, someday, managed to create a device to draw energy from a human's anger, that energy could very well have the ability to revive the dead.

It is only after the great monster named Anger leaves one's body that he can think clearly and reflect on his actions. I thought about things that have happened during my past few encounters with the monster Anger. Indeed, anger is a great power. It is a force that can lead you to immense strength unbounded by the shackles of unrighteousness and rationality. However, like all stories go, such power is a path to the 'dark side'.

Self reflection is perhaps the best way to get rid of anger, as I have today. I think, as a conclusion, I'd like to warn all of you (as a guy who has to constantly manage his bad temper): Beware of this power beyond nuclear strength. It may eat you alive.

Update 8/4/10 - The Taxi Driver

2010-04-08T03:15:00.000-07:00

Hello people of the world.

This has been my first post in around two weeks, for many reasons -- tests, commitments to my CCA, a hell lot of project work in preparation for a preliminary round of my project competition (which has, thankfully, been completed pretty much smoothly). I now await the results of my project with great anticipation, wish me the best of luck!

So now on to the next new change in my blog. I've realised that weekly updates are pretty much impossible when school work gets hectic. Therefore, I will change my blogging style. I didn't really consider those update posts as posts. This time, my updates will come every once there are updates, and in an update post, there will be a short portion with some stuff that happened in my life, and all the usual things my updates have (or that I promised would have). The titles of my updates will now feature an actual 'title', to give some insight as to what I'll write about.

Right, moving on to my topic today. I took a cab back from school today. The taxi driver was an Indian taxi driver, and he greeted me with a rather friendly smile and question, "Where'd you like to go, boy?" I always find taxi drivers who say this quite nice, rather than those sulky ones who just grunt and want the customer to determine their destination.

This taxi driver spoke extremely fluent English, perhaps even better than mine. Telling directions was no problem, but it was the conversation he started with me that was quite intriguing. He started off by asking me if I found my school tests and work difficult. I commented by saying that I found them fairly do-able, not too difficult, and not too tough.

He then moved on to tell me a rule which he said he followed in his life, "As long as you tell yourself that it's easy, it will be. It's all in your mind. Of course, you have to work for it once you tell yourself it's easy, that's the best way to get good results in what you do."

I found this very true. It is only if you tell yourself you can do it, that you will succeed. Without the mindpower to do something, you'll never accomplish it. This cab ride was a learning experience for me.

I enjoy taking public transport to a certain extent. I can learn so many things. A ride on a bus or train could easily teach me the rather irritating or disgusting ways of people who forget they are in public, and a ride in a taxi could allow me to converse with a person who has seen many different people and aspects of life, and is experienced enough to teach me some new things and lessons of life. This is my experience with a taxi driver today. Interesting, isn't it?

Now moving on to the other stuff. My Js are becoming less creative again, but for now, allow me to show the Ancient J. If you read the words behind the J, they are in medieval language (except for one or two typos which I hadn't the time to fix, but will fix in time to come). Enjoy.

I have got some comments that the Unity J was nice. Therefore it will appear again soon, when my new generation of Js is complete. Prepare yourselves for Unity J VR2, which will come out once I've made at least another 20 new Js. That's all I have for you guys for now, thank you for reading, and stay tuned for more on J's Journal!

Past Performances...

2010-03-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have found to time to give a blog post apart from the weekly updates. As you guys should all know, the new term has restarted, and we have found out all our results for the previous term in school. To put it bluntly, it sucked. To put it in the way we tell ourselves in our heads, we did unsatisfactorily.

This post will be mainly commenting about my results. So let me tell you how my school's grading system works. It uses MSG, mean subject grade, as the grading system. For each subject depending on our score we can get a range of grades from 1 to 9. We will add up all the grades of all the subjects and divide it by the number of subjects to get the MSG. So, an MSG of 1 is the best and an MSG of 9 is completely ridiculous.

My MSG was 2.17 this term. Bullshit, in my opinion. Why? Simply because I put in a hell lot more effort in working and revising this term than I ever did in the same term last year, and I obtained a worse score. Last year, I was still trying to recover from my shock from a disgusting fall in the PSLE -- I couldn't concentrate or work properly and I did not revise or read up and I got an MSG of 1.83. Unbelievable, right? It made me question whether or not hard work really helps in any way.

My dad told me that perhaps it was due to the increased difficulty in each subject that cause my poor grades. My parents never scolded me for poor grades or 'grounded' or did anything restrictive to me when I fared badly in tests, they always told me what I did wrong and asked me to work on it.

Last year's third term was a true term of realisation for me. I completely messed up all my tests, and got an MSG I don't even deem fit to be on this blog. I lost to people I never thought I would, and I did badly in subjects I never thought I would fail in. This forced me to rethink my plans and studying methods. I pulled up my socks (although if I pulled up my real socks in real life I would look like a moron with extremely long socks) and got rewarded for it.

This year I worked hard in the first term, hoping to do well, but I did not get results anywhere near my target. Was my target unrealistic? Or had I not done enough? I can't really see till now. Nevertheless, I will continue working hard. I will work on every aspect of my work since I can't really determine which one I lacked, and hopefully, I would be able to perform better this term.

I'll keep this long post short, and end it here. Wish me the best of luck! With more projects coming and my extremely important Projects Day, it is due time I really kicked into action. We're all in a war. It's only by using every tactic and weapon you have that you'll win.

Weekly Update 22/3/10

2010-03-22T02:49:00.001-07:00

Hello people of the world,

This is another update for the first week of school after the March holidays. There have been many things going on for me, most of which were and are work. As the leader of my project group I have to communicate with my teacher and my group, so that's tough work. (And guys you're helping so much! Gee, it's as though you make my job so much 'easier'! Thank a lot! Nah... I really do like working with you guys, much better than I thought.)

So here's one update: I've put in a new gadget which shows my latest posts in case you guys find this post boring, then you can move on to see others. Of course, if you're new readers of my blog you can refer to the archives section for all of my brilliant posts (^__^)

Now I won't be making any more major changes, despite the fact a friend just pointed out that JGXQ sounds like 'jerk' when pronounced. However, knowing that I am NOT a jerk in any way (now, isn't that right?), I don't think my blog name will go, after all, it is the thing that defines my blog, and JGXQ are my initials.

So now the joke:

It was about a week or two ago, during English language class (called Language Arts in my school). The class was discussing a situational writing essay and we came to this problem: if you're the chairman of a council and you are writing on behalf of the council how do you address yourself?

The teacher said, "So what pronoun do we use? 'What' would like you to...?

We said, "She would..."

There was a moment of silence. Then laughter. Then a sigh from the teacher. Apparently we were 'slightly' confused.

That marks the end of today's update. As you can see, I'm trying to alternate the Js and jokes, since not many might pop up, so do stay tuned for more on J's Journal!

Weekly Update 18/3/10

2010-03-17T18:54:00.001-07:00

Hello people of the world,

Yes, the fact that I have two update posts back to back means I really have nothing much to write about over this week. Although it is the March Holidays, I have been mercilessly attacked and engulfed by homework (and of course the urge to catch up with some computer games) -- not much time for blogging. Nonetheless, I've found time to type out an update of my past week, and I also have a new J in store for you guys.

On Tuesday (16 March) I went for a fencing competition. Yeah, this time I faced off against the elite fencers of my fencing club. Although they had an obvious advantage, and they used their 5-hour per week training to completely trounce everyone outside of elite classes, I took the fencing competition as an opportunity to hone my skills. I've seen myself improving, and correcting many mistakes I made in the past in the most basic attacks. Winning is not my purpose of entering competitions in fencing -- even if I put up a fight losing 14 - 2, I know, very clearly, those elite people came to win, and they won't stop at anything (including giving me a hell painful stab to my collar bone that has, thankfully, healed) to get what they came for: gold --I play to gain experience.

So my school holiday week has been mostly catching up with some games, practising my awesome handwriting on plenty of essays from History and English, but I've also made time for my Js. Below is my Heritage J. It shows every single J I've created since I started making them, including some which were never put on my blog! So do enjoy.

And that's all for this week, nothing funny has happened, thus we won't have the joke section today. But stay tuned for more on J's Blog!

Weekly Update 12/3/10

2010-03-12T01:47:00.000-08:00

Hello people,

This is another update post. Not much has happened to me over the past few days, except that I learnt how to make rather interesting origami through a workshop in my school. That was rather interesting and fun. I have been busying myself with folding, resulting in neglection of this blog.

To start off with the update, I will have a new system, whereby each week I post at least one post. That one post should be an update post. Inside the update post there will be:

I. Whatever updates I have

II. A Joke (Zone of Laughs - now integrated into the main blog posts)

III. If created, a new J (probably once every month or when I get inspiration)

Now for this week, there aren't many updates, and there isn't a new J. I am in the process of making a new J with origami outside of the computer, then scanning it, and following the folds and patterns using PPT shapes to copy the format. When that J is up, you'll see an insanely colourful (unless I decide to change it) J on my blog. Thus I shall end off with the joke.

Tired and weary from tough training, my squad and I sat down for a debriefing session in my CCA. Some squad mates were distracted by a song being played somewhere near us, and looked around to find the source.

My senior asked, "Hey, look here, is the song more interesting than me?"

We all replied (together and unanimously), "YES SIR!"

It took awhile before all of us and the senior realised our mistake.

That's it for this week, do stay tuned to J's Journal for more updates!

The New Generation of Js...

2010-03-08T01:28:00.000-08:00

Hello one and all,

This post will mostly be about the Js I'm making now. Apart from that, just let me note that the Zone of Laughs page is... erm... not performing as expected, and to save the readers a trip to a separate page, I will be removing that page and simply putting up a new joke each time I make an update.

So let's talk about the new Js. My classmate Martin had used Photoshop to create an NPCC J for me. However, I will only use MS PPT for my Js, therefore I redesigned it in MS PPT. Here it is, my NPCC J, newest creation. Colour tuning is still in progress, do give me your opinions. And many thanks to Martin for giving me the idea. It is getting difficult to see where the J actually is, but I will work on that problem to remove it. Can you guys see the J?

Yup, so I will be putting up newer versions of this J soon, do stay tuned and give comments and follow. I know that at one point I lost the beauty in the simplicity of my Js, so I will work on that too. To end off this update post, I'll have the latest joke from my school life.

A classmate seated next to me turns and asks another classmate seated behind me and diagonally to my right, and asks, "Hey do you know the answer to question 2a?"

That classmate to whom the question was directed replies, "Yeah, do you know how to do question 2a?"

Then the classmate who asked the question replied, "No, so do you know how to do the question 2a?"

Next, the idiot of a classmate to whom the question was redirected again says, "Yes, 2a, how to do? You know?"

It was at this point when I could not resist but to say, "Hey can you two morons stop asking each other stupid questions?"

Generation Gap

2010-03-06T05:07:00.000-08:00

This post is inspired by a passage I read in my tuition center today, regarding music which a parent appreciates, and how different it was from his children's opinion of good music. The writer gave the reason for this difference in opinions as a result of the generation gap between adults and children.

I have listened to many songs on the radio, and I feel that there is a big difference between the songs of my parents' generation and mine. I have no personal preference for songs, but one of my favourites is 25 Minutes Too Late by Michael Learns to Rock. It is a song I listened to when I was small, and at that time, when my voice hadn't broken yet, sung to myself. It is very simple and understandable -- a love song, a guy in distress missing his chance to find his beloved significant other. However, songs nowadays are all full of ear-piercing raps, shrieks and other weird things that I just cannot understand. Let me give two examples of songs:

And now Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, an artiste that I have been hearing more and more of lately on the radio.

I do not dislike the song from Lady Gaga, but what I wish to ask my fellow classmates who might be reading this post is: has there been a drastic evolution in our definition of music? Songs in the past used to be simple and comprehensible. However, songs right now are complicated, sometimes vulgar, and really terrible to listen to. It is becoming increasingly difficult to understand what the persona in each of these songs are trying to say.

How many of you prefer calming songs of the past? And how many feel that these new songs are much better? I prefer those old songs, but I wouldn't mind one or two new ones, like the one I put up. However, I personally feel that too many of hese new songs can be painful for your ears. What about you guys? Please comment and follow!

New J... First of a New Collection

2010-03-01T17:43:00.001-08:00

Hello people of the world. Now, I understand my Js have been getting from bad to worse, and their standard is terribly depleting. Thus, I have consulted a few of my favourite books with pictures and designs, and come up with a few more Js. Let me release the very first new J to you. Of course, Martin, if you'd like to help me, I'd gladly accept it.

Presenting the Squares J. I have no idea if there is a name for such a design, if there is enlighten me. I simply took reference from some pictures on the internet and books. There are more Js coming up soon, as I push MS PPT to its very limits. So do stay tuned to J's blog!

Responsibilities

2010-03-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

This is a post once again targeted at my class. It is a post which I have been waiting a long time to put up. And now that I have time during the home learning break, I shall type it out.

As all of you guys in my class know, I have been your Chinese representative for last year, and this year, I am continuing my position. I have no complains about this, and I feel that being a subject representative is an honour, if you put aside all the extra work.

However, in the process of carrying out my duties, I have been disgusted at how some of you react to what I do. Some of you criticise my methods (to be explained in a short while, just read on), and others just don't care about the subject.

Just to remind you guys what our teacher once said: a subject representative is not your humble servant, who goes around collecting homework. That is true, and I see every other subject representative doing that. They sit, and wait for the damn homework to pile up on their table. However, I do not believe in this. While I agree that representatives are not your servants, I feel that we should make sure our message is conveyed to you -- that we want a piece of homework in.

For example, the recent corrections for Chinese was, to me, a disgusting demonstration of our class's pathetic diligence. In case you do not know, less than half of our class handed it up. For every piece of work I collect, I walk around the class demanding it from you guys, and I press you until you give it to me. I'm sure some of you dislike me for doing that, but think about it -- if I don't press you, will that work ever be given to the teacher? And if that work isn't given to the teacher, aren't you going to turn the blame back to me and say you weren't reminded? And after the teacher is done reminding you that it is YOUR responsibility to hand it in, and not the representative's job to remind you, won't you come pass my seat and pass some snide remark?

There are so many faults in this system of collecting work, that I don't really know where to begin. Let's continue with a recent experience of mine. Every time I collect homework, there will be five distinct groups of people:

Diligent, always handing up,
Do not hand up,
Did not complete and do not care,
Did not complete and want to copy,
Completed but can't be bothered to hand up.

The most annoying group will be the fourth kind. You people will come to me with some incomplete scrap of work, and request that I dish out one script from those I've collected, and hand it to you for 'reference' (as you put it). Once this scenario happens, there will be a new group of people involved:

Me
Person who did not complete work
Classmate who wants to be a hero and support his friend when I turn him down

And now to my main point, this post, is targeted at the THIRD PERSON INVOLVED. Simply because there are very few of you in class who are like this, if you are reading this post, I AM VERY SURE, you will know who you are. And mark my words, I detest you.

Recently, one of you did ask me this question, "Eh J, why so bad? Our classmate leh! Why don't you let him copy? Evil shit!" The worst part of this situation was that the third person involved was a subject representative himself. It lead me to think about something which I will elaborate on in the subsequent paragraphs.

And, after withstanding your insults for long enough, I explained, "Well, what if I lend your worksheet to this person, and he loses it? What if that happens? Who will be liable for your M.I.A. worksheet? Once I take your script from your hands, it is my responsibility to protect it. If I simply give out scripts like that, how am I to remember who has handed in, and who has not? How will I account for it if I give out your worksheet and it suddenly goes missing? Are you asking me to give another classmate's work, and risk losing it?"

As it is, the person who did not complete his work has demonstrated how untrustworthy he is. How can you people expect me to trust him with what I've collected? Think about it! If I gave him YOUR work, and he LOST it, then what will you say? "J! Why the *censored* did you give him my work? Now he lost it! Evil shit!" So my main point here and now is, if you want to 'refer' to your friends' work, go get it from somebody who has not handed it up to me yet. Once the work has been placed in my hands, it will never go to another person. I am not like others who collect work by placing the scripts on their tables, under a fan, with a oh-so-heavy-and-reliable paperweight known as air.

That concluding sentence from my previous paragraph brings me to my next point. As subject representatives, our mission is to collect and ensure the security of our classmates' worksheets. So far, I have only seen one person who I feel I can trust my work with, and sadly, this year, he stepped down from being a subject representative. This post is getting extremely long but I must finish what I want to say now. Thus, let me give one example of how 'trustworthy' some of us can be.

In class, we have several people notorious for copying work. About two weeks ago, one of them had the audacity to take my worksheet from a pile collected by a classmate, and attempt copying it. Of course, my seal of copyright is my handwriting -- the dip got nowhere past the first word. This is the kind of security our class representatives offer? It is a joke, I tell you.

To conclude this post, I feel that all the people in class, in school, and holding any form of leadership positions, should really increase their standards. I will continue to improve my efficiency to ensure you people that your hard work is in safe hands, and I sincerely hope that the rest of you, who are entrusted with the same kind of task as me, will do the same to make me not worry in the instance my worksheet is passed to you.

Elearning - Task Two (Intrapersonal Option One)

2010-03-01T00:47:00.000-08:00

Here is the second part of the home learning assignment. I have picked the question regarding who I would choose to befriend in the novel. This short essay will briefly explain who I would pick, and why I pick this person.

If I had a choice, I would befriend Atticus Finch. This because he has demonstrated great moral courage throughout the book, and he is a role model for everyone. In befriending him, I hope to learn more about myself, and my flaws, and how I could work on them and improve my personality.

Atticus had the moral courage to stand up before Maycomb and defend Tom Robinson. This very action shows how much Atticus believes in his actions, and it shows that Atticus has a determined personality. He is not affected by odds, and he does not resort to violence to solve problems.

I admire his courage, which he defined as '[knowing] you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what'. Not many people in this world wield that kind of courage, and since Atticus stood up against all odds, he is a hero who challenged the majority.

Being friends with such a person will serve to open my mind to my own flaws, and give me an opportunity to look at things differently. It will allow me to learn how not to pick up my fists each time I am confronted by a problem, but rather sit down, and solve it through simple means, without physical force.

Atticus can teach me that force is not the only way to get what you want, and he would be able to enlighten me on what I should do in life to achieve the best of what I can be. Atticus is a great character, whose only bad characteristic is being too optimistic. However, I feel that his courage and determination are two qualities far exceeding those of a normal person, and hence I would choose to befriend him.

Elearning - Task One (Linguistic Option Four)

2010-02-28T17:36:00.000-08:00

Based on the MI test, I have picked the 'Linguistic' and 'Intrapersonal' options for the home learning assignment. This is my answer for the 'Linguistic' task. I picked option four.

Greetings to all citizens of Maycomb County. I am honored to be standing here today to present my views on two very prominent feelings present in our society today -- Courage, and prejudice, and how they have changed our society for the worse. Maycomb County is our home, but have our corrupted definitions of courage and our nearly infinite prejudice against our own brethren made Maycomb County a terrible place to live in?

Let me touch on courage first. Being the father of two wonderful children, I have seen many different views on courage. My son, as many of you might know, Jeremy, views courage as a man with a gun in his hand. He used to feel this way, and I am glad that he has matured and learnt what the true meaning of courage is. Courage is not about knowing how to fight, or knowing how to kill, but rather, knowing when one is defeated, but continuing regardless of the situation.

One courageous woman in our society has demonstrated true courage. One courageous woman has shown my son the true meaning of courage. One courageous woman, who is the late Mrs Dubose, has shown me the true meaning of courage. She was a morphine addict, as some of you may know. However, she fought to the death with her addiction, and overcame it before she departed from this world. That is true courage.

Yet, how many of us standing here today practise this courage? We, the citizens of Maycomb County, ought to be ashamed of ourselves. We teach our children our own misconceptions about courage, and they learn it, live by it, and demonstrate it in their lives! We have made Maycomb a place where fists are the insignia of courage and bravery! Who would want to live here? In all my practise in law, I know one thing -- that violence is not the only way to solve problems.

As it is, we are faced with people who think they are courageous, but are instead destroying our society. What more could happen to us, you ask? Prejudice. This word is carved, and should be carved into the minds of every Maycomb citizen, because it has existed in Maycomb County for generations. It has lead to the segregation of our society, simply by our skin colour. If you ask me of my opinion on this, I would say it is absurd.

Who would want to live in a town engulfed by racial injustice? Who would want to live in a town surrounded by prejudice? Who would want to live in a town of inequality? The answer is nobody. Not a soul would choose to live here if they had another choice.

Why can't we learn from our children? Children have pure and innocent minds. They can see every person as an equal creature. We are all mortals, we all have emotions, and most importantly, we are all humans. My children have thought me what all of us who stand here were once like -- innocent and not prejudiced against any person.

However, we have let this monstrous entity that is bias pollute our society, and make it a most unfavourable environment for any peace-loving human to live in.

People of Maycomb County, I urge you to realise that we have made Maycomb a rather unwelcoming place. Prejudice, and our so-called courage, have turned this town upside down. Despite these setbacks, we are a town which helps itself in times of crises. Let us use this advantage of ours, and make Maycomb a better place to live in.

To conclude my speech, I thank you for your kind attention. And I leave you with one question, do you want Maycomb to be a place where others would like to live in? Or a place which reeks of bad influences?

Reference: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Note: Changes might be made anytime before the deadline

Elearning - MI Test

2010-02-28T17:26:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm having home learning. Yes, isn't that great? My first task is to take a test called the Multiple Intelligence test, and post up the results and my comment here. Here is a picture of my results:

From the results, I gather that my top three rankings lie in being nature smart, word smart, and myself smart. I have been good with language in school ever since primary school, and so I haven't much to comment on this portion. However, I never knew I was nature smart. I do love animals and things about them, so perhaps this is a new discovery for myself. Being myself smart is something good for me too, as I can help myself with my problems and feelings.

However, such tests are mostly just a gauge and should not be taken too strongly. As long as we follow our heart in whatever we do, such tests should not ebar much influence in our lives.

Updates, Post No. 3

2010-02-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world, this is my third post regarding updates to my blog. Yes, my blog is still undergoing minor changes as I consider the practicality of certain functions, posts and gadgets in my blog. So here are the recent changes to my blog:

I. Pages - I have removed the 'Zone of Laughs' additional website, and made it a separate page in my blog, which can be found under the 'Today's J' area. The 'Zone of Laughs' caption has also been removed completely, meaning that the 'Zones of Laughs' page will be the only place to get the jokes, both dry -- and... wet? -- about my everyday life. I will update them every time something comical happens to me in school.

II. Other Great Blogs - There are other wonderful blogs out there, written by my classmates, so I have given the links of my favourite three blogs under the 'Other Great Blogs' column. Do visit them and comment, they'll be as happy as I would if I also saw comments on mine.

And these are the two changes I have. To wrap this post up, let me give you guys a new profile picture, using the same pixels design from last time, but with a different colour. Enjoy.

My CCA Life - Endurance - A New Definition to 'Tired'

2010-02-26T04:57:00.000-08:00

Hello people of the world, I have decided to add a new label/section to my blog, which will be about my CCA. My CCA has taught me many things, and I love this CCA more than any other CCA I've ever been to. For this week, I will talk about endurance.

Just today, I took another test in my CCA (which is NPCC for those of you who don't know). This test consisted of about twenty different drills, and we were split into groups of around 12 people each. In the test, we were graded on our ability to command our group, and our drill standards. So assuming every guy shouted out twenty commands each, that's two hundred and forty commands, rounded off to about two hundred and fifty commands when all the mistakes are added in. This test of mine was the ultimate test of endurance and skill, at least for now.

Endurance is defined as the ability to continue to do something difficult or painful over a long period of time. That is exactly what I did in my CCA today, along with my squad mates. I shall take this post as an opportunity to reflect on the test, as well as what I've gained from it, plus practising my descriptive skills.

The test consisted of two parts. We were tested on two kinds of drills, one involving only us, humans, persons, and people, and the second involving batons. I still remember my thoughts when that first person went up to command, "First guy, so damn long, when will this ever end..." I was the second to command -- so for those of you who somehow ended up seeing me drill so sorry to say you missed my awesome commanding, but rather saw my group and me messing up at the hands of fatigue and an 'excellent' squad mate who gave wrong commands at the wrong time and in the incorrect sequence -- and by then fatigue was setting in. It wasn't fatigue from just the first few simple drills, but rather fatigue from a week of slogging our guts out in school and doing work.

After the conclusion of the first part of my test, most of the squad, including myself, looked as if we had climbed Mount Everest on stilts and wearing singlets and boxers (you get the idea). We had the eyes of fish who just escaped a fisherman's net by a second, and we were as tired as horses that had pulled a 1 000 000 kilogram brick wall across the Sahara. It was a terrible feeling all in all, but we persisted in completing our test.

We demonstrated our ability to do difficult things over a long period of time well in this session. Obviously, drills were not really 'easy', and the second part of my test, involving drills with a baton, was practically hell. Imagine a tired body, hoping to quickly rest, getting thrown more work, and this time having to support a stick in one arm. Had I not trained hard with my CCA before this, and built up my fitness and physical bearing, there would be no way that this feat of some sort would be accomplish-able. As for the part about a long period of time, we performed drills continuously for a torturous three hours, which probably outranks my recent promotion test in terms of difficulty despite the fact that the promotion test lasted much longer.

From this test, I have learnt what being 'tired' really means. Being 'tired' doesn't mean that you ran a kilometer and are finding it difficult to continue. Being 'tired' does not refer to how you feel after one push up. Being 'tired' is not the definition of your body after lifting stacks of newspapers down a flight of stairs to dispose of them. I'll use the word 'tired' much more carefully now.

All in all, my test today was a great demonstration of endurance, a quality I learnt in my CCA. Stay tuned to my blog for more, as I will update more soon on the skills I've learnt in my CCA. Do comment and follow!

The True Promotion

2010-02-23T01:42:00.000-08:00

Today, I received the results of something I've been awaiting for what seems to me for ages. For those of you who do not know, I am in a uniformed group in my school, NPCC. Today, I got the results of my very first promotion test, and I passed! Yes, after so much hard work, I can finally get that stripe on my chevron! (Yes, I was -- and am -- so happy that I set the results slip as my wallpaper.)

However, the promotion from a cadet to a Lance Corporal in my CCA is only half of the real promotion here. The other half, I feel, lies in what I have taken away from my CCA after more than a year in it.

I'm not sure why, but many people look at uniformed groups with 'pity', as some people asked me if I felt 'pitiful' for myself. Others feel we have 'no talents', and there are those who say we have sad lives. I used to think as such when I was in my primary school. I'd look at the scouts (the only UG available in primary school for my primary school), and think or maybe even say, "Hah you suckers, how unusual that you find getting radiation from the sun more appealing than sitting in the shade." However, I have realised that the pride of a UG can only be understood if you belong to one. I've never come across a person not in a UG who has not given me a bewildered expression when I told him or her that I like being in a UG.

Back when I was in primary school, I was round as a ball, and boy was I 'good' at running. The NAPFA in primary one, two, three and four practically translated to 'hell' for me. I slimmed down a great lot for some reason in primary five, and have not gained much weight since -- only height. And last year, I challenged myself to something I never thought I would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever in this year, the next ten, or a millennium, or a lifetime, do -- join a UG.

My CCA in my primary school was Infocomm club, basically dealing with computers (and it was so fun that I'm proud to say I've pretty much forgotten everything I learnt there.) When I put NPCC down as the first choice in the form I received in secondary one, each letter was penned down with my heart and mind, and I prayed that I had chosen the correct CCA for myself.

Never did I know I would end up so enthusaistic about my CCA after almost a year. I take great pride in being in my CCA, and for those of you who realise I ignore you (or for the more serious cases, injure you -- joking) when you ask me stupid questions like 'Eh I hear UG no life right? Is that true?', well, it is because I feel that I have no need to reply you. I'll show you how much life I have in my UG when it comes to the time when I take part in the school's events involving UGs.

A sense of belonging in our CCAs are important, and I can hardly understand why some of you guys can quit your CCAs so easily without any qualms, with no attachments, with no good reasons apart from an injured little finger et cetera et cetera.

Henceforth, I end of my post by summarizing the main point of this post. For those of you who say UGs are 'pitiful', do remember, that while you walk out of your CCA with the skills of making robots, drawing pictures, taking photographs, swinging swords, moving pieces of porcelain moulded into weird shapes on a piece of black and white board, or perhaps throwing an over sized metal disc into an open field -- and you know all these make you 'cool' in your sense, we UGs have our good points too, because we walk away from our CCA, with the skills that shape our morals, our life skills, and qualities that you might not have.

So before offending one from a UG next time, think about this question: If you and that person are trapped in a gigantic jungle, armed with only a piece of string, a compass, and perhaps some paper, are you going to lead the two of you out? Or will you cry in a corner and hope with all your life that the other guy can save you? Before answering a firm 'OF COURSE I'LL DO IT', try to consider the possibility that you can't -- or at least, so as to not be biased, most of you can't.

A Challenge from Me to I

2010-02-19T03:28:00.000-08:00

Last year was a great and wonderful year for me, but it was also full of mayhem in some areas. I made new friends, and made new enemies too. I'm glad I salvaged a relationship with a person who almost became my enemy. To that person who might be reading this now: I hope we will be as good friends as we once were.

The dark parts of last year lie in the enemies I made. And through some of the posts I typed last year, you readers would have seen that I like to criticise people, and last year, this was especially so for those I did a particular project with. However, the new year has arrived, and the past is behind us.

I have a somewhat sharp tongue in real life, and it might be difficult to speak to me. I have received feedback that the posts I make on my blog against seemingly anonymous people reveal too much information about that person, such that those people, or the person involved is overly obvious. I will be sure to change that this year, but of course, when the need arises, those posts will still appear, just more moderated with the new writing skills I have learnt.

Now on to my main point. I criticised the leader of my project group last year terribly, as I felt he was poor in leading, and completely disorganised. I won't take it back, but I will try to look at it while considering the fact that everybody was new to the secondary school environment. This year, I challenged myself to take on that very position which I criticised my classmate when he held it. I am a leader of a project group.

It might seem small, but responsibilities are responsibilities. I thought it fair for myself to try out just what those people I criticised went through last year, before giving another opinion on them. So sometime at the end of this year, look out for a post, I will definitely present to you my revised opinions of what happened previously.

To those whom I will work with in the future, you have my assurance I will give my best as your leader, and my flaws will definitely show when time comes, but I will not let them get in the way of progress, Work with me as much as you can, and I will try my very best to help all of us achieve our common goal of success in our project. I like Atticus's quote from the book I'm studying this year, To Kill a Mockingbird, that "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view -- until you climb into his skin and walk around in it". Thus, this year, I shall challenge myself, and try to see things from another person's perspective. Time for me to see if what I said last year, was correct, wrong, or merely a matter of viewpoint and opinion.

It Was Fun Being a Child Part Two - Credit to Mr Yinn Jaye

2010-02-16T00:38:00.000-08:00

Now I'm trying to give different perspectives in all of my blog posts, and that's not easy considering it requires lots of typing, and my posts are getting a little too long for easy and simple reading. In this post, I shall attempt to adapt Yinn Jaye's (for those of you who know who he is) poem entitled "Life", and morph it into one called "The Child". In my previous post about being a child, I said I feel that childhood is not a bad thing. This poem points out what life might be like as a child during those nasty moments.

Note: The original form of this poem was more comical, but made use of some minor profanities. If you'd like to see it, ask me in school.

The Child

My bottom is tearing,
But the cane keeps coming,
The window before me, blocks the stars outside shining so brightly.

Winter is coming,
That monster is trying,
To drive me to my doom for some undone household chores.

The black winds and monstrous storms in the outside skies,
And the monster with the raven’s eyes,

Welcome more chores, and send off the freedom.

Credit to Mr Yinn Jaye for allowing me to adapt his poem, yes, I asked for his permission, no plagiarism. If you'd like to see his poem, visit his blog at http://all-the-right-moves-yinn.blogspot.com/.

It Was Fun Being a Child

2010-02-15T02:22:00.000-08:00

The Chinese New Year break has allowed me to relax, and think about many things and fond memories of the past. I suddenly remembered how great life used to be. As a child, I did not have to do much or any homework, it was merely a happy life with no worries. However, now, as a student, I have to think about so much, do so much, that life just isn't the same anymore.

Well, someone suggested I do another blog post, so I decided to talk about childhood, about what life once was for me. Do enjoy, comment, and do anything you can to help liven my blog up.

I remember my favourite show as a child was "The Land Before Time". I loved dinosaurs as a kid, and that show was my favourite (apart from Hi-5) as a kid. I loved those stories they told, where the bad guys always got their just desserts. It was really a child's life then, everything so smooth sailing, happy, and carefree. I miss those days, and I wish I could go back to them.

Primary five was the year of change for me, and things started to get serious. My parents would trust me with information they once did not, and they told me things that they felt I should know at the right age. It was the time when I realised what doing 'homework' actually was. However, primary school years were still nothing compared to secondary school.

Primary six, or, more precisely, the end of the year I was in primary six, was the darkest year of my life till then. I was dealt a deathly blow by the examination I took at the end of primary six. I started realising what real stress was like. I underperformed in my examinations and the result was a disgusting piece of garbage in my eyes. My parents did not blame me, but I did. This blow was an enormous gale which wiped out the fire of desire to learn and perform in my heart. Thankfully, this fire was ignited again by the great new school I have come to, and all the things I do in it, especially my CCA.

Perhaps getting out of childhood is not all bad, since you're no longer an obedient follower of your parents, but rather a smart, intelligent, and curious person (add cynical and sceptical for me), who has the ability to question his rights when parents ask too much of you. Well, my parents are great, and they never expect much from me, so I mostly see childhood as a good thing. I was bound by no chains, apart from those of occasional time-outs when i really misbehaved...

Thus, I end this post with a song, from my favourite show as a kid.

How many of you feel that childhood is a great thing, and that you miss it? How many feel otherwise? Do share your opinions with me in the comments section.

Chinese New Year and My Grandparents

2010-02-14T00:47:00.000-08:00

The Chinese New Year has begun. Most of my Chinese New Years are pretty much the same, and I don't understand why people make such a big deal about it. I see this long break as a perfect excuse for teachers to give more homework than usual. Chinese New Year is a time where every single road is jammed up, when all the food in the market are sold out, and when a mighty lot of homework floods in from school. What's there to celebrate?

Last night was an interesting one. I personally do not belief in the thing about sleeping late to give your parents long lives, and neither do my parents, but I decided to do that last night. It was pretty easy for me despite the fact that I like to sleep very early every day. How? Simple, rather than waste a thousand words and write a post too long, I made a picture for my readers to see.

Moving on, today is the first day of Chinese New Year. Things are still pretty much the same for me. However, I have realised how lucky I am. All of my grandparents are still alive, and most are working. I come from a family where there are people doing many different things, from different walks of life, perhaps - it sounds weird when I say that since we are all one family, perhaps I'll update this post when I can find a better phrase.

My maternal grandfather works for the F and N company, and delivers canned drinks. As such, I had a near infinite supply of free canned drinks last time. Right now, he is almost going to retire, but he feels that not working makes a person grow old faster than normal. He's pressing for a job.

My dad's dad works as a cab driver. However, he does not ferry me to or from school. I mean, he has a job, don't bother him. I can learn about the kinds of people he meets whenever I talk to him, although talking to him is sometimes challenging. Why? Once, he asked me, "Did you brush your teeth?" I said yes, and he proceeded to ask if I used toothpaste. Don't get it? You'll get it soon.

Both my grandmothers are skilled cooks and are great at art, in their own ways. My mum's mum loves art, and she recently took up a course to learn how to make 3D effects simply by layering pieces of the same drawing together. She shares my grandfather's opinion that she should work to keep herself from growing old. My fraternal grandmother loves cooking, and I always enjoy her dishes. This year, my family decided to eat at a restaurant instead, thus I did not get to taste her wonderful dishes. Oh well...

So this post was mainly about my grandparents. Meeting them over the new year is a great thing, since I hardly have time to talk to them once school begins. I end of this post by wishing everyone a happy Chinese new year. Do comment, follow, and click the response boxes!

Final Changes and a New J

2010-02-13T02:10:00.000-08:00

People of the world, as my previous post on updates did not manage to cover every single update (I made more changes in the end), this post will sum of the final two changes to my blog.

I. Title - I changed it to 'J's Journal' to make it sound more interesting. 'J's Blog' sounded too plain, and it did not go along with my love of the letter J. This new title, along with the 'slogan' of some sort, all have words beginning with the letter J.

II. Zone of Laughs archive - I set up a separate site to house all my small posts for the Zones of Laughs section. Feel free to visit by clicking the button at the top of my blog bearing that name.

III. Updates and Js - This new label part will include all my posts regarding updates. I have also decided to put up a post each time I make a new J. Enjoy this new section! It can be found at the labels "Special Posts for Special Reasons" section.

Now for the new J:

Presenting the Pixels J. The challenge of making my J Insignias with MS PPT is not how tedious the creation of the Js is, but rather making a simple design look special and unique, using minimal tools.

The Joker? Or the Joke?

2010-02-08T23:36:00.001-08:00

Now, this post is targeted mainly at those from my class, school, and all who might know of this issue. Today is the day I feel I had to write something about it. Today is the day I feel I must point out something which you guys don't seem to understand. The reason why I posted this post only a day after my previous post, was because this issue has been bugging me for a long time now. Today's assembly made me decide I had to post this up.

Every week, my school holds an assembly. We have panel discussions during those assemblies. After each member of the panel has spoken, the discussion is open to the floor. We have seen many intelligent answers, many wonderful questions asked, and brilliant suggestions stated. Yet there is always this little guy, at the corner, trying to say something, that we all laugh at.

I have never spoken up from the floor before. Only once, I played the role as a panelist. But I write this post not because I want to criticise the little guy I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but because I want to state how I feel about his actions, and much more importantly, the school's reaction to his actions.

Every single time this boy speaks, we laugh, no, you laugh. I used to, but not anymore. I applaud this boy's bravery, for he is able to gather courage to speak up before other students, and I myself have never done that voluntarily. However, the jokes we make out of him every time he speaks up, is a sin we must not commit anymore.

Every single time this boy speaks, we hear a string of completely broken, nearly incomprehensible, and horrifically fragmented English. This boy tends to do things as he thinks. He gives me the impression that everything he does is because he feels he is a joker, a comical guy, and a funny, hilarious person that everybody likes. Is that so? I wonder if his statements are real, or if he is faking these sentences to appeal to the crowd. I try my best to think that he is genuinely trying his best, and saying what he thinks is right. Yet, if he is doing as such, why are we laughing? Why are you laughing?

Every single time this boy speaks, we start laughing and poking fun at him. Now the real question is, is he the joker whose jokes we laugh at? Or is that poor guy the joke? There is a big difference - a colossal difference, in my opinion - as to whether he is the one cracking the jokes, or if he is the one who is the joke. The latter would be most unpleasant.

I feel that we should not be laughing at him. I will make it a point to never let the slightest little chuckle escape my mouth the next time he speaks. Or perhaps I have already done that. We should give him a chance to speak. His words should not be the subject of ridicule! For goodness sake, he is speaking before about four hundred students! Give him the respect he needs! Perhaps, we should stop this unnecessary mocking. Perhaps, we should ignore him. Perhaps, the teachers should do something - or maybe the student leaders who say they want the best for our school - this boy should be properly educated on HOW to speak properly, and WHAT to say, before he speaks the next time. This will ensure he will no longer be the joke of our everyday conversations.

Yes, I'll say it here and now. In my conclusion, and in my opinion, he IS the joke. Whether or not he realises this, I don't know. However, I sincerely hope he does not, because if he does realise this, and he continues making a laughing stock out of himself, something is very wrong with him. Guys, let us stop this nonsense. There is nothing funny about him, or what he does. I can only see a confused person standing before me, and trying his best to sound coherent. We should learn how to change, and he should learn how not to make himself a fool. I used to find him funny about a year ago, but this feeling no longer exists.

It is time for us to see what real humour is, and for him to ask himself: is he the joker? Or the joke?

The New Year is Near...

2010-02-08T02:07:00.000-08:00

The Chinese New Year approaches, and I guess it is about time for me to wrap up my updating of this blog. Henceforth, here is the post that I promised long ago.

Let me give you some information as to why I decided to get this post up and, well... posted, now, today, here and at this time. I found some problems with my comment section, with the help of a friend who agreed to be my guinea pig to test my blog out. Apparently, the comment section was too small, and he could not type in the word verification, thus was unable to comment. I hope, with all my heart, and tears, that the lack of comments (-___-) on my blog is due to this problem, and people thinking they have posted the comments while they have not. Otherwise... Oh man, that would be sad for me... Hey somebody, comment on something to lift up my blogging spirits would 'ya?

(For those of you sadists who'd like to know: I spent an hour trying to reconfigure the whole blog html, trying to get my old blog skin back. Apparently, I forgot there was a function to make the comments section open as a brand new web page, thus giving it space to load the word verification area without having to scroll down.)

Now y'all let me just briefly tell you what changes I have made. Now I like Roman numerals for some reason (mixes well with my cursive handwriting, I presume), so I will be using them in my list below.

First of all, let us say goodbye to my old blog: Now here's a picture of it. In honour of the great blog that served me well for a year. This is still the same blog, same foundation, just a different look.

I. Blog skin and layout - I have decided to use a totally different blog skin this time instead of sticking to the boring old default skins. I found this one, called Coffee Desk, and since I love coffee, and this blog skins really looks nice, I picked it. I feel it is a 2D representation of what my study room is like in my house. A main space for writing and homework, and to the right, two sections - one for references, the other for a computer et cetera. Now I put lots of thought in selecting this skin, so do give me feedback, I'm open to it. (Note: If the comment section still gives problems, please tell me - those who know me in real life - I will put up a small function shortly which will allow me to receive feedback on my blog.) Secondly, I have changed the font type and size. Times New Roman is my favourite font, thus I have made all my blog posts follow this font type starting this year, and I have increased the font size to be similar to that of newspapers. So, that should be pretty easy to read. I have added a dashboard button and a home button at th top of my blog. I can understand how pesky it is with all these cool templates that you can't go back to your dashboard, thus I have implemented this function to help my readers, and myself navigate the web page. The home button sends you back to the first page of my blog in case you are lost in my most wonderful posts.

II. Slogan? I guess - I have come up with a short sentence that sums up what's inside this blog of mine. My blog IS basically about "The Just, Judicious, Jubilant and Juvenile Je Ne Sais Quoi That Form The Chronicles of My Life...". As to how I got the word Je Ne Sais Quoi, let's just say I can tell you from experience that you need about 3 hours - if you're reading at my speed - to digest and review every single word in the English dictionary that begins with the letter J.

III. Visitor count - Hey, everybody needs something to motivate them right? I decided to install this counter to track or give me an estimate as to how many people visit my blog. I do not spam my own blog with refresh buttons, because that is self-deceit. And deceit, my dear friends, is a path to the dark side.

IV. Today's J section - Now, for those of you who see my facebook profile page, you will know that my J Insignia is a huge part in my profile. I make my Js using ONLY MS PowerPoint. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe. But I view PPT as a blank canvas on which I can create my Js. Not a single J (up till now) has been created outside of PPT. This section serves to give the readers insight as to what J is currently in use, as well as some info about its creation.

V. Zones of Laughs - I realised that this blog lacks humour. Now funny things happen to me in my life. This section acts as a channel through which I can tell my readers about these things, as well as to provide some comic relief to my blog. I update it as frequently as something new happens to me. Some of these updates can be found as my status updates on facebook.

VI. Insect Wars - A brand new section. I have learnt how to use the labels function, and this is one new variant of posts. Every once in a while, I will do up a post with pictures (guess where the existing ones were and future ones are going to be created) and comical teasing, in the form of a formal letter. Of course, as you realise, the tone and words used aren't one bit formal. So please sit back and enjoy the humour.

VII. For some relaxation - A small section for you guys to occupy yourselves with while reading and hopefully, commenting, on my blog. Feed the turtles by clicking in the small zone where the turtles are. Yes, they're turtles. For those of you with laptops that can scroll sideways using the touch pad, go over to that area and scroll sideways, you will realise that the turtles are actually swimming in a larger area than seen in the blog, and the lack of space is what causes them to sometimes 'disappear' from the screen.

VIII. Notice Board - This is an important tool I have not and will not remove. Please refer here often for updates on my blog.

IX. Followers - Last, but definitely not least, my followers. I need lots of followers, so guys, please follow my blog and help me increase readership! Give me comments on how to improve my blog if any of my posts are unsatisfactory.

X. Response buttons - Okay, I like to call them that, period. Now, these buttons are added in case you feel something about my post but don't wish to comment, so feel free to click. I do not click them myself, so I use these clicks to get an estimate as to how many people read my blog. So, well, let us see, I have two readers. Wow. That's one weird thing (which led me to think that the lack of comments on my blog was due to a technical fault rather than poor readership) - it is as though the visitor count is singing in 'G Sharp' while the comments and response columns are singing in 'A'. Those musically talented, correct my metaphorical use of notes should they be incorrect.

Now these 10 changes are what I have made to my blog up till now. Thus, I conclude my post with my usual appeal: Please read, comment, follow, and click 'them response buttons (but please don't let them be a replacement for comments - I need comments after all)! And now I will end of wishing everybody a Happy Chinese New Year! Thank you for taking time to read this post, and do stay tuned for more!

The Great Insect Army

2010-02-04T21:45:00.000-08:00

Tup Tup Fee-Seas

Commander
Insect Special Navy Forces

5 February 2010

Beejisir Beesguts
Supreme General
E.I.R.T.F.

Dear General Beeguts

RE: Necessity for Greater Military Power

I am the commander of a special insect task force and it has come to my knowledge the the E.I.R.T.F. is currently in need of recruits to deal with human invaders. I have thereby written this letter to suggest using my special insect task force in your upcoming battles.

Below is the name of our special task force.

I can assure you the M.O.R.O.N. task force is more than capable of handling any form of human attacks. I strongly believe that a good task force always has three qualities: the ability to carry out swift attacks to increase chances of victory, the ability to carry out quick retreats when necessary to minimise casualties, and the ability to care for troops and view them not as tools of war but rather insects, thus ensuring the survival of all troops if possible. Therefore, attached are three of the most famous wars the insects and humans have seen. Please feel free to refer to them.

The Battle of the Ant Tunnel is an excellent representation of the M.O.R.O.N.'s ability to protect our troops. At the slightest sign of danger, the M.O.R.O.N.s flee the battle zone to avoid any casualties at all.

The Battle of the Bee Hive is a perfect example of good retreat tactics. Thanks to our fast retreat, half of the M.O.R.O.N. force activated for the mission was saved.

The Battle of the Bee Hive II is my final and best appeal to you to accept the M.O.R.O.N.s as your new primary task force in the E.I.R.T.F., as it demonstrates our ability to make swift victories, regardless of the costs.

Hence, with all these world class standards demonstrated, I appeal to you to take my task force in, and do what's best for the insect army.

Yours sincerely,

Tup Tup Fee-Seas
Commander
Insect Special Navy Forces